“Dogs aren’t allowed in bars because they can’t control their licker”
"Liquor" shouldn't be confused with "licker," but there are jokes. "Q. Why don't they allow dogs in bars? A. Because most of them can't hold their licker!…
Alphebetical for "d"
“Dogs can be our best friends, but the cat will never tell the police where the marijuana is”
"Dogs can be our best friends, but the cat will never tell the police where the marijuana is" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker (who probably has marijuana in…
“Dogs can’t operate MRI machines, but catscan”
"Dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan" is a joke that has been printed on many images. A "computed tomography scan" is also known as a "CT scan" or…
“Dogs do not believe in Daylight Savings Time”
"Dogs do not believe in Daylight Savings Time" (or "Cats don't believe in Daylight Savings Time") is a saying that has been printed on many images. Pets want to be fed at…
“Dogs have masters, cats have staff”
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff" (or "Dogs have masters, cats have staff") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Dogs have masters, cats have staff"…
“Dogs have no idea how wonderful they are. They just wander around making the world a better place”
"Dogs have no idea how wonderful they are. They just wander around making the world a better place" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The dog saying (shown on an image)…
“Dogs have owners, cats have staff”
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff" (or "Dogs have masters, cats have staff") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Dogs have masters, cats have staff"…
“Dogs might be ‘man’s best friend,’ but a cat will never tell the police where your drugs are”
"Dogs can be our best friends, but the cat will never tell the police where the marijuana is" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker (who probably has marijuana in…
“Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers”
"Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Teenagers (and cats) can understand better than babies (and dogs), but…
“Dogs run and they live 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live 150 years. Lesson learned”
"Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned" is a jocular anti-exercise saying that has…
“Dogs welcome inside. Please tie children to post out front” (sign)
"Dogs welcome inside. Please tie children to post out front" is a jocular sign that has been printed on many images. The sign means that the establishment is dog-friendly. The part about…
“Dogs, coffee, music”
"Life is better with dogs, coffee & music" (or "Life is better with music, dogs & coffee") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Music Dogs…
“Dogs: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Dogs: Life’s apology for every crummy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark…”
A popular statement about newspaper advertising was credited to an Illinois editor in November 1870: "Trying to do business without advertising is like winking in the dark; you know that you…
“Doing God’s work” (investment banking joke)
Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO and Chairman of Goldman Sachs, told the Times of London in a November 2009 interview that he was just a banker "doing God's work." The line was meant as a…
“Doing my part to keep the coffee industry financially strong”
"Doing my part to keep the coffee industry financially strong" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker drinks a lot of coffee. "I am doing my…
“Doing my taxes and shaking my head the whole time so everyone knows I disagree with it”
Paying taxes is not pleasant, and many people shake their heads -- as if that somehow improves matters, or at least registers a disagreement. "Doing my taxes and shaking my head the whole time…
“Doing sit-ups at home is a form of domestic ab use”
"Ab use" should not be confused with "abuse," but that's been the subject of several puns. "Doing crunches and situps at home is domestic ab use" was posted on…
“Doing squats so my ass matches my sass”
"Doing squats so my ass matches my sass" (or "I squat so my ass matches my sass") is a motivational gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Squats. So my ass…