“Dogs: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
Alphebetical for "d"
“Dogs: Life’s apology for every crummy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark…”
A popular statement about newspaper advertising was credited to an Illinois editor in November 1870: "Trying to do business without advertising is like winking in the dark; you know that you…
“Doing God’s work” (investment banking joke)
Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO and Chairman of Goldman Sachs, told the Times of London in a November 2009 interview that he was just a banker "doing God's work." The line was meant as a…
“Doing my part to keep the coffee industry financially strong”
"Doing my part to keep the coffee industry financially strong" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker drinks a lot of coffee. "I am doing my…
“Doing my taxes and shaking my head the whole time so everyone knows I disagree with it”
Paying taxes is not pleasant, and many people shake their heads -- as if that somehow improves matters, or at least registers a disagreement. "Doing my taxes and shaking my head the whole time…
“Doing sit-ups at home is a form of domestic ab use”
"Ab use" should not be confused with "abuse," but that's been the subject of several puns. "Doing crunches and situps at home is domestic ab use" was posted on…
“Doing squats so my ass matches my sass”
"Doing squats so my ass matches my sass" (or "I squat so my ass matches my sass") is a motivational gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Squats. So my ass…
“Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness”
"Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying has been credited to Brooklyn-born editorial…
“Doing your best does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown”
"Friendly reminder that 'doing your best' does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Kipplekipple wrote…
“Doing your taxes on April Fools’ Day seems like a legitimate way to defraud the government”
"Doing your taxes on April Fools' Day seems like a perfectly legitimate way to defraud the government" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on an ecard. The saying was…
“Dollars to doughnuts”
"Dollars to doughnuts" (or "I'll bet dollars to doughnuts") means a sure thing, a certainty; someone will put up something to substance to something worth much less that a…
“Dom Pérignon implies the existence of Sub and Switch Pérignon”
Dom Pérignon is a brand of vintage Champagne. Dom Pérignon has nothing to do with "dominance and submission" or "dom/sub," but there are jokes. "Dom Perignon in the…
“Dom Pérignon implies the existence of Sub Pérignon”
Dom Pérignon is a brand of vintage Champagne. Dom Pérignon has nothing to do with "dominance and submission" or "dom/sub," but there are jokes. "Dom Perignon in the…
“Dom Pérignon implies the existence of Submissive Pérignon”
Dom Pérignon is a brand of vintage Champagne. Dom Pérignon has nothing to do with "dominance and submission" or "dom/sub," but there are jokes. "Dom Perignon in the…
“Dominant chords imply the existence of submissive chords”
In music theory, there is a dominant chord, but no submissive chord. "Dominant chords and submissive chords #musicjokes #music" was posted on twitter by Matt Hues on June 26, 2012.…
“Don’t agonize, organize”
"Don't agonize, organize" was a 1970s slogan of the women's movement, specifically the older women's movement for civil rights. Both Florynce Kennedy (1916-2000) and Tish…
“Don’t applaud—just throw cash”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t applaud—just throw money”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That’s probably who you’re arguing with”
"Don't argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That's probably who you're arguing with" is a saying that has been printed on many…