“Do trees poop?”/“Where do you think number 2 pencils come from!”
There's a joke about No. 2 pencils that really stinks. "Do tree poop, yes, where do you think number 2 pencils come from" was posted on Twitter by Chris Craft on October 20, 2016.…
Alphebetical for "d"
“Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?”
"Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?" is a jocular saying about trolls that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“Do vegans eat beefsteak tomatoes?”
"Beefsteak tomatoes" do not contain any beefsteak, but there are jokes. "Can vegetarians eat beefsteak tomatoes?" was posted on Twitter on July 2, 2008. "Do hardcore vegans…
“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?”
"Animal crackers" (crackers made in animal shapes) have been sold commercially since the late 19th century. In an April 2, 1996 "Family Circus" comic strip, young Billy eats…
“Do what makes you happy because if you died today, your job would be posted before your obituary”
"Take care of you because if you died today, your job will be posted online before your obituary" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Take care of you; because if you…
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Theodore RooseveltTheodore Roosevelt, Jr. (1858-10-27 – 1919-01-06), also known as T.R. or Teddy, was the 26th President of the United States…
“Do what you do best and delegate the rest”
"Do what you do best and delegate the rest" is a popular rhyming management adage. "Do the parts of your job that you like or do best — chances are, they're the same — and…
“Do what you love and you’ll never have a problem with Monday”
"Do what you love and you'll never have a problem with Monday" (or "Do what you love and you will never have a problem with Monday") is a one-line saying about work that…
“Do y’all blow y’all food when it’s too hot or do y’all just hasafashafsas till you can chew it?”
"Do y’all blow y’all food when it’s too hot or do y’all just hasafashafsas till you can chew it ??" was posted on Twitter by Joshua Scott™ (and others) on January 5, 2019.…
“Do you buy your greeting cards at the dollar store or are you a gazillionaire?”
Many people save money by going to a dollar store to buy greeting cards. "Yep we have the Dollar Store and a few others. Best place to buy greeting cards" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Do you deliver?”/“No, but we do chicken, lamb and fish.”
A restaurant joke -- usually an Indian restaurant -- about takeout/takeaway is: PERSON ON PHONE TO RESTAURANT: Do you deliver?RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: No, but we do chicken, lamb and fish.…
“Do you ever wanna lose weight, but weight doesn’t wanna lose you?!”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterEnyo@Enyo_AWhen you want to lose the weight but the weight doesn't want to lose you. 😔😔😢😢12:57 PM · Jan 23, 2017 FacebookMore Crazy StuffMarch 29,…
“Do you follow Jesus this close?” (bumper sticker)
"Do you follow Jesus this close? (or "Do you follow Jesus this closely?") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. The reader of the bumper sticker is…
“Do you follow Jesus this closely?” (bumper sticker)
"Do you follow Jesus this close? (or "Do you follow Jesus this closely?") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. The reader of the bumper sticker is…
“Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue? It was about a week back”
"Week" sounds like "weak." A double pun is sometimes made, with "a week back" (time) for "a weak back" (a bad spine). The "weak back"/"week…
“Do you have a bathroom?”/“No, we shit outside in the yard.”
A house guest (or someone in a restaurant or a store) might ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" This really means, "Where is the bathroom and I can use it now?" However, a literal,…
“Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?”/“Yes. February 14th.”
A popular Valentine's Day joke is: MAN: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?WOMAN: Yes. February 14th. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 4, 2012 and has been printed on…
“Do you have a golden lawyer?” (lawyer joke)
The joke about the "golden rat" has been told since at least 1994. The punchline usually involves a lawyer, but some versions substitute "liberal" or "Republican."…
“Do you have Coronavirus? Because I can’t stop looking ah-choo” (pickup line)
"Ah-choo!" or "Achoo!" or "Atchoo!" (a sneeze) sounds like "at you." A jocular pickup line was used during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic. “Do you have…
“Do you have reservations?”/“Yes, but I’ll eat here anyway.”
Some people have reservations for a restaurant, while others have reservations about a restaurant. A popular joke has been cited in print since at least 1975: RESTAURANT HOST OR HOSTESS: Do you…