“Dentists are going on strike. Brace yourselves!”
"Brace yourself" doesn't mean to put braces on your own teeth, but there are jokes. "Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot…
Alphebetical for "d"
“Dentists are janitors for mouths”
"A dentist is just a janitor for someone's mouth" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2016. "A dentist is just like a janitor for your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
“Deposed kings get throne away”
A royal riddle is: Q: What happens to deposed kings?A: They get throne away. "Throne away" is a pun on "thrown away." The riddle was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on August…
“Depression—When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you”
A hula hoop is a toy hoop that is twirled around the waist, limbs or neck. It can help people to exercise. The hula hoop is not supposed to fit like a belt -- unless someone is extremely fat.…
“Depression is the toothpaste to the sweet orange juice that is life”
Brushing one’s teeth with toothpaste and then drinking orange juice results in an unpleasant taste, but it’s usually not fatal. “Toothpaste before orange juice equals death” is a one-line…
“Depresso: when you’ve run out of coffee. Represso: when you refuse to talk about it”
"Represso" (repression + espresso) is a jocular coffee term. "Is #represso the opposite of #espresso?" was posted on Twitter by Molly C Loar on November 19, 2013. "I made a…
“Depresso: When you’ve run out of coffee”
"Depresso: When you’ve run out of coffee" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter on November 25, 2012. "Depresso" is a portmanteau of "depression" and…
“Descartes walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular philosophy variation is: "René Descartes walks into a bar, see. He orders a…
“Describe yourself in three words.”/“Lazy.”
"Describe yourself in three words."/"Lazy" is a jocular job interview that has been printed on many images. "How would you describe yourself in 3 words? — LAZY. LAZY.…
“Desktops imply the existence of deskbottoms”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterJundrick JAMar@ohGodJAMnitDesktops implies the existence of deskbottoms.11:43 AM · May 20, 2022·Twitter for Android
“Despite a valiant effort by my dog from our window, our neighbor has entered his own home”
Dogs can protect property, but they frequently bark unnecessarily at neighbors. A joke was posted on ,a href="https://twitter.com/Darlainky/status/1176568789481267201">Twitter by…
“Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner”
Many churches have stained windows. "I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains" was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer,…
“Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular”
"Despite the high cost of living, it remains (very) popular" (or, "Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item") is a jocular statement that has been printed on…
“Despite zero experience, I’m opening a BBQ restaurant next to a courthouse. It’ll be Trial by F
A barbecue joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on August 23, 2021: "Despite zero experience, I’m opening a BBQ restaurant next to the courthouse. It’ll be Trial by Fire."…
“Desserts” is “stressed” spelled backward
"Desserts" is "stressed" spelled backward. While this always has been the case, this headline in the Los Angeles (CA) Times food section on July 30, 1992 helped to popularize…
“Developers, developers, developers”
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer gave a presentation for Microsoft's 25th anniversary in September 2000. His presentation was full of manic energy and he told the crowd that the success of…
“Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans”
"Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans" -- a pun on "genes" -- is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in…
“Diarrhoea Is A Really Runny Heap Of Endless Amounts” (“diorrhoea” backronym)
"Diarrhea” ("diarrhoea" is the popular spelling in the UK) is a difficult word to spell. Many people use a backronym (back acronym) or mnemonic. "Diarrhoea Is A Really Runny…
“Dick pics are literally junk mail”
"Junk mail" usually has nothing to do with "junk" (sexual slang), but there are jokes. "Speaking of Brett Favre, I think it's time we start calling texted dick pics…
“Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people working from home. Many people did not even get dressed all day. "Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this…