“A closed mouth gathers no feet”
A politician can't suffer from "foot-in-mouth disease" (a gaffe) if he or she doesn't talk (have an "open mouth"). The proverb "a closed mouth gathers no…
Alphebetical for "a"
“A coach who listens to the fans ends up sitting with them”
An old saying in sports is that a coach or general manager "who listens to the fans ends up sitting with them." Fans are important, but the coach or general manager has the best knowledge…
“A code walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several "progress bar" joke versions. "An IT guru walks into a bar…
“A coffee a day keeps the grumpy away”
"A coffee a day keeps the grumpy away" is a jocular one-line coffee saying -- similar to "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" -- that has been printed on many images. The…
“A coffee maker implies the existence of a coffee destroyer”
People are familiar with a coffee maker, but does it have an opposite? This was posted on Twitter by Michael 🌶 on September 20, 2018: "A coffee maker implies the existence of a coffee…
“A coffin? That’s the last thing I need!”
The expression "that's the last thing I'll need" usually means that the person has no need for that thing. Jokes about a coffin take the "last thing" literally.…
“A Coke from a bottle, a can and McDonald’s are 3 different drinks”
"Coke from a can and Coke from a bottle are two different drinks" and "A Coke from a bottle, a can and McDonald’s are 3 different drinks" are soft drink sayings that have been…
“A colleague from work has just texted saying he’s caught Covid from his cat. Don’t ask meow”
A COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic joke is that a cat got Covid-19, or that a cat gave Covid-19 to its owner. The punchline: "Don't ask meow." ("Don't ask me how.")…
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there”
"A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying has been cited on Twitter since April 21,…
“A comic says funny things; a comedian says things funny”
"A comic says funny things; a comedian says things funny" is an entertainment adage. "A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things" was credited in…
“A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours”
"A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours" is an old joke that plays upon the word "minutes" (a written record and a unit of time). The joke first appeared in…
“A committee is a group of the unwilling, chosen from the unfit, to do the unnecessary”
“A committee is a group of the unwilling, appointed by the unfit, to do the unnecessary" is a joke about committees that has been cited in print since at least 1952. The words…
“A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain”
American science-fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein wrote in Time Enough for Love: The Lives of Lazarus Long (1973): "A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain." The…
“A committee is twelve people doing the work of one”
Arthur Bloch's Murphy's Law Book Three: Wrong Reasons Why Things Go More! (1982) included: "Kennedy's Comment on CommitteesA committee is twelve people doing the work of…
“A community bound by books” (BookPeople slogan)
BookPeople is an independently owned bookstore that opened in Austin in 1970. BookPeople claims to be the largest bookstore in Texas, but takes pride in serving the community. "A community…
“A compliment is verbal sunshine”
"A compliment is verbal sunshine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to American professional comedy writer Robert Orben since at least 1988,…
“A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted”
"A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted" is a jocular statement showing that a compromise makes neither party totally happy. "A compromise is an…
“A computer keyboard is a word piano”
A computer keyboard has been compared to piano. "RT @mamasanta computer keyboard my word piano" was posted on Twitter by Kathy Uyen Nguyen on October 28, 2009. "A computer keyboard…
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing”
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing" is a jocular one-line saying about chess that has been printed on many images. Philips told the joke in Emo…
“A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles”
American cowboy, humorist and actor Will Rogers (1879-1935) wrote in his newspaper column published on July 21, 1932: "A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in…