“What is a vampire’s favorite candy?”/“A sucker.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: What is a vampire's favorite candy?A: A sucker. "Q. What's a vampire's favorite candy? A. A sucker!" was printed in The Gazette (Montreal, Quebec)…
“If you can’t handle me when I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have 60 bucks”
"If you can't handle me when I'm broke, then you don't deserve me when I have 60/600 bucks" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying began in December…
“Eternally grapefruit” (joke on “eternally grateful”)
"My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My retirement plan is societal collapse”
"I'm a millennial, so my retirement plan is societal collapse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many millennials cannot afford a retirement plan. "RT…
“If you can’t handle me when I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600”
"If you can't handle me when I'm broke, then you don't deserve me when I have 60/600 bucks" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying began in December…
“My English teacher always told me that spelling doesn’t matter because we’ll have autocorrect”
"My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect”
"My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“Kale tastes like I’d rather be fat”
"Kale tastes like I'd rather be fat" (or "This kale salad tastes like I'd rather be fat") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "This green smoothie w…
“Well, I’m a millennial, so my retirement plan is societal collapse”
"I'm a millennial, so my retirement plan is societal collapse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many millennials cannot afford a retirement plan. "RT…
“If you thought you hated homework as a child, trust me, you’ll hate it more as a parent”
"Hated homework when I was in school, hate it more as a parent" was posted on Twitter by Jo-Ann Rogan on April 14, 2010. "I hated homework as a kid, I swear I hate it more as a…
“Researchers discover that bombing people causes them to hate you”
"Researchers discover that bombing people causes them to hate you" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "Researchers Discover That Bombing People Causes Them to Hate…
“The self checkout lane was invented by a man who was sent to the store to buy tampons”
"So glad there are self checkouts when I'm sent to the store to buy tampons. I don't have to awkwardly avoid the cashier's eyes" was posted on Twitter by DunieLAF on…
“This kale salad tastes like I’d rather be fat”
"Kale tastes like I'd rather be fat" (or "This kale salad tastes like I'd rather be fat") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "This green smoothie w…
“What kind of shoes do artists wear?”/“Sketchers.”
Skechers shoes have nothing to do with artists and sketching, but there are jokes. "What kind of shoes do artists wear when they're…
“The best day…two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine”
Sometimes a candy vending machine fails to return a candy bar. Sometimes the vending machine returns two candy bars. "Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has never had…
“Soul! soul! for an apple or two. If you’ve got no apples, pears will do”
“Soul! soul! for an apple or two; If you’ve got no apples, pears will do” is a chant that was used for souling on All Souls' Day (November 2nd) in the 1800s. Notes and Queries, on…
“Cheers to Sunday! May your coffee be strong, your pajamas be comfy and your naps be uninterrupted”
"Cheers to the weekend. May your coffee be strong, your pajamas be comfy, and your naps be uninterrupted!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cheers to the…
“What kind of shoes do artists wear?”/“Skechers.”
Skechers shoes have nothing to do with artists and sketching, but there are jokes. "What kind of shoes do artists wear when they're…
“When it’s night, look for the stars. When it’s morning, look for the coffee”
“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars” is a popular saying. "When it rains, look for the rainbow. When it's night, look for the stars. When it's…
“Go vote! If dead people can do it, so can you!”
"Go vote! If dead people can do it, so can you!" is a jocular political saying, referring to the fraud of dead people "voting." The saying encourages voting to cancel out the…