“Old skiers never die—they just go downhill”
"Old soldiers never die -- they just fade away” is an old saying that was popularized by General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) in his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951. Many…
“Why did the boy throw butter out the window?”/“To see the butter fly.”
"Butterfly" and "butter fly" lead to the obvious joke: Q: Why did the boy throw butter out the window?A: He wanted to see the butter fly. The joke has been cited in print since…
Conundrum Supper
A "conundrum supper" ("conundrum dinner" is less frequently used) is a meal where each menu item is presented in the form of a riddle. For example, "A Group of…
“Run fast, turn left” or “Run hard, turn left” (running advice)
"Run fast/hard, turn left” is jocular running advice that has been printed on many T-shirts. "I thought there were just two things to do: run hard and turn left" was cited in print…
“I love ketchup from my head tomatoes”
"I love ketchup/you from my head tomatoes" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and ecards. "'From my head tomatoes' - Adam…
“Hit hard, run fast, turn left” (baseball/softball advice)
"Run fast, turn left" is a classic piece of running advice. "Hit hard, run fast, turn left" is jocular baseball softball advice that has been printed on many T-shirts.…
“They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now”
British comedian Bob Monkhouse (1928-2003) is remembered for a classic line: “They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.” It's not known…
“A blind man walks into a bar and says, ‘Wanna hear a blonde joke?’” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular "blind man walks into a bar" joke (there are several) is about a man…
“Experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high”
"Experientia docet (experience teaches) is a Latin phrase. "Experience is the best teacher" is a proverb that has been cited since at least the 18th century. The tuition cost was…
“There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them”
"There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them" has been credited to George Orwell (the pen name of Eric Arthur Blair, 1903-1950) since at least…
“Is Betteridge’s law of headlines correct?” (headline joke)
“If there is a question in a headline, the answer is always no” is a journalism adage. British technology journalist Ian Betteridge mentioned the adage in 2009, and it has often been called…
“A blind man walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular "blind man walks into a bar" joke (there are several) is: "A blind…
Premox or POx (premature oxidation)
"Premox" or "POx"/"pox" (premature oxidation) is a problem that began to be noticed in the 2000s in white wines with 1990s vintages. The wines would be darker and…
“When two vegetarians are arguing, is it still considered beef?”
When someone has a "beef" with someone else, it means a "grudge" or a "complaint." The word "beef" does not mean "meat," but the confusion leads to…
“If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?”
"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?" is a one-line pun on the word "testicle." "If a small quiz is a quizzical, what's a small test?" was cited in print in…
“I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned”
Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself”
"Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many posters, usually with a picture of an eight-slice…
“The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular English grammar bar joke is: "The past, the present, and the future walk…
“I was going to make a joke about sodium, but Na”
The symbol for the chemical element Sodium is "Na," prompting the popular joke: "I was going to make a joke about sodium, but Na." "'Hey, know any good jokes about…
“The first man gets the oyster; the second man gets the shell”
"The early bird catches the worm" is a proverb dating from at least the 17th century, and advising that the successful person gets there first. "The first man gets the oyster; the…