“Expectations are premeditated resentments”
"Expectations are premeditated resentments" is a saying of unknown authorship. "If the old saying that 'expectations are premeditated resentments' is true, then our…
“The room was so small, I had to go out in the hall to change my mind”
New York City apartments and hotel rooms are usually very small. "The room was so small," an old joke goes, "I had to go out in the hall to change my mind." The joke appeared in…
“Wake up and smell the tyranny”
"Wake up and smell the coffee" is a saying that has been cited in print since at least 1943. "Wake up and smell the tyranny" (urging people to be politically awake) is a saying…
“An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject”
"An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject" is a pro-gun slogan of unknown authorship. "An Armed Man is a Citizen, an Unarmed Man is a Subject" was a signature line…
“You’re like school in July—no class”
School is usually out in July and August, although there sometimes is summer school. "My English teacher is like school in the summertime ... no class" was cited in a 1985 book.…
“If you bought it, a truck brought it”
"If you bought it, a truck(er) brought it" is a popular bumper sticker slogan -- especially on trucks, of course. "You name it -- if you bought it, a truck brought it!" was…
“Guns don’t kill people. Abortions kill people”
"Guns don't kill people -- people kill people" has been a popular pro-gun slogan since 1959. "Guns don't kill people. Abortions kill people" is a related bumper…
“A New Yorker learns to drive by yelling ‘taxi’”
Many New Yorkers do not own cars, but prefer to take a taxi or the subway, or to just walk. A joke is that a New Yorker learns how to drive by raising an arm and hailing a taxi. The joke…
Lience (lie + science); Lientist (lie+ scientist)
Fake or bad science (or pseudo-science) has infrequently been called "lience" (lie + science), which is practiced by a "lientist" (lie +scientist). "As far as global…
“Were you married by a Justice of the Peace or the Secretary of War?” (joke)
An old joke is about a bickering couple who were married by a Justice of the Peace, but should have been married by the Secretary of War. The position of "Justice of the Peace" is not the…
“They don’t make things like they used to—and they never did”
"They don't make things like they used to" is an old lament that has had been said about many things. "They don't make plays or do anything now like they used to" was…
“Salesmanship begins when the customer says no”
"Salesmanship begins when the customer says no" is a business saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as coffee mugs and posters. The saying has been cited in print since at…
“Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they’ve been planted by a secret organization”
"Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they’ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what’s really going on" is a jocular one-liner that was cited on…
“He gave a fireside chat and the fire went out” (joke)
U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt held radio "fireside chats" to communicate with American citizens. In September 1975, Washington Senator Henry "Scoop" Jackson (1912-1983)…
“Every country has an army, but in Pakistan/Prussia/U.S., the army has a country”
French political leader Honoré Gabriel Riqueti, comte de Mirabeau (1749-1791) is credited with saying, "Prussia was not a country with an army, but an army with a country." The saying…
“We want a batter, not a broken ladder”
"We want a batter, not a broken ladder" is a baseball chant that has been popular in the Little League. The chant has been cited in print since at least 2000. GameFAQs Backyard…
“We want a pitcher, not a glass of water”
"We want a pitcher, not a glass of water!" (a pun on the word "pitcher") is a baseball chant that has long been popular in the Little League. The chant has been cited in print…
“Behind every great man is a great woman”
"Behind every great man is a great woman" is an old saying of unknown authorship. The following was cited in many newspapers in 1884: "There has nearly always been a good wife behind…
“A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular joke on the joke is: "A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The…
“Up the river, down the lake; the pitcher’s got a bellyache”
There are many baseball chants that the crowd (or the opposing team's players) yell to fluster a pitcher. "Down the river, by the lake, the pitcher's got a bellyache" was cited…