“Don’t drink with ghosts. They can’t handle their boos”
"Boos" sounds like "booze," prompting the pun: "Don't drink with ghosts. They can't handle their boos." The joke has been cited on Twitter since December 9,…
Makers and Takers
Entry in progress -- B.P. The Wall Street JournalCOMMENTARYA Better Way Up From PovertyI've learned I was wrong to talk about 'makers and takers.' We have to do more to unwind the…
“Money frees you from doing things you dislike”
The Associated Press reported about New York-born comedian and actor and You Bet Your Life game show host Groucho Marx (1990-1997) during a visit to New York City in March 1958, when Marx said:…
“Long ago, men cursed and beat the ground with sticks…today, it’s called golf”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google Books20,000 Quips & QuotesBy Evan EsarNew York, NY: Barnes & Noble Books1995, ©1968Pg. 350:In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with…
“What is small, red and whispers?”/“A hoarse radish.”
A popular joke about horseradish is: Q: What is small, red and whispers?A: A hoarse radish. The joke was cited in he newsgroup uk.rec.gardening in 1997. Google Groups: uk.rec.gardeningGardening…
“I moved into a bungalow. I wanted a house, but that’s another story”
A "story" ("storey" in the United Kingdom) is another floor of a building. One joke is: "I moved into a bungalow recently. Was going to move into a house, but that's…
Rapefugee (rape + refugee)
The European migrant crisis of 2015 saw European countries admit many refugees. News of these refugees committing rapes resulted in the name "rapefugee" (rape + refugee).…
“No sweet without sweat”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksA Dictionary English, German and French (Third Edition)By Christian LudwigLeipzig: Printed for John Frederick Gleditsch1763Pg. 873:No sweet without sweat, ...…
“When you see snow, go slow” (winter driving adage)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterPerth County Roads@PerthCoRoadsWind has picked up again and causing some drifting problems. These drifted areas can be slippery. If you see snow...go slow.3:26…
“Money isn’t the most important thing. Love is. Fortunately, I love money”
"Money isn't the most important thing. Love is. Fortunately, I love money" is a joke that has been credited to American stand-up comedian Jackie Mason (1928-2021). His "My…
“Where do poor meatballs live?”/“In the spaghetto.”
A popular joke about spaghetti and meatballs is: Q: Where do poor meatballs live?A: In the spaghetto. The joke was cited on Twitter on October 31, 2012 and went viral in January 2013. TwitterSamuel…
“A gymnast walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "So a nearsighted gymnast walks into a bar" was cited in March 2010. "So a…
“Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?” (joke)
A popular Bible joke is: Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?A: Pharaoh's daughter. She went down the the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet (profit). The joke…
“What’s the definition of endless love?”/“Two blind people playing tennis.”
“Love means nothing to a tennis player” is an old joke on the scoring in tennis (where "love" does mean nothing). Another joke is: Q: What's the definition of endless love? A:…
“A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank”
Some people continue to drive their cars when the gas gauge reads "empty," thinking that a gallon or two is still left in the tank. The Wall Street Journal originated a frequently…
“Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?” (joke)
Drinks that are "on the house" are free, and there's a classic joke: Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? A: She heard that the drinks were on the house. The joke…
The Other Big Apple (Meaford, Ontario nickname)
The municipality of Meaford, in Ontario, Canada, is an apple-growing area. The city had used an apple in its logo, but, in 2011, it added the line, "The Other Big Apple." Many residents…
“What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant?”/“Arrrby’s.”
Pirates say "arrr," according to many pirate movies. There is a joke: Q: What's a pirate's favorite restaurant?A: Arrrby's. The Arby's joke has been cited in print…
Bond Vigilante
The term "bond vigilante " sounds like something out of a James Bond movie, but it simply describes players in the bond market. Ed Yardeni of Yardeni Research, coined the term when he was…
“A fish walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A fish version is: "A fish walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'What do you…