Investigating the origins of American words, names, quotations and phrases. Over 41,000 entries.
A popular lawyer joke is: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?A: A vampire only sucks blood at night. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Google Groups:…
Comedian Jay Leno said on NBC's The Tonight Show in September 1990: "That crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."…
A popular seafood pun is: "I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel." The "pulled a mussel/muscle" pun has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google…
One popular lawyer joke is: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?A: The lawyer charges more. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups:…
"A problem is a chance for you to do your best" is a saying that has been credited (since at least 1984) to American composer and bandleader Duke Ellington (1899-1974). The attribution…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A vampire version is: "Two vampires walk into a bar. 'I'll have a pint of…
There's a joke about a deck of cards and a ship's deck: Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?A: Because he was sitting on the deck. "We have lots of singing and reading, but…
A knock-knock joke involving cash (and cashews) is: Knock, knock.Who's there?Cash.Cash who?What are you, some kind of nut? The joke has been cited in print since at least 1970. 13 December…
Bacon curls in the frying pan. This has nothing to do with the sport of curling, but there is a joke: Q: How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?A: You take away its tiny brooms! The…
A popular pun involving the word "wasabi" is: Q: What did the sushi say to be bee?A: Wasabi (What's up, bee). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Wikipedia:…
Bacon curls in the frying pan. This has nothing to do with the sport of curling, but there is a joke: Q: How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?A: You take away its tiny brooms! The…
A pun about a house is: Q: What clothes does a house wear?A: Address (a dress). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. "Does a house wear a coat of paint 'cause it's…
A transportation riddle is: Q: Who earns a living by driving customers away?A: A taxi driver. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1955. 4 December 1955, South China Sunday Post-Herald…
"Boarding school" is the subject of an obvious pun: Q: What kind of school does a carpenter go to?A: Boarding school. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. “Flight…
People eat more bananas than monkeys. Rab Livingstone tweeted on March 2, 2015: "People in the UK eat more bananas than monkeys. In 2014 they ate 73,432,384 bananas and only 6 monkeys." A…
A popular children's pun about school is: Q: How do bees get to school? A: By school buzz! The children's joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. 15 June 1992, Indiana (PA)…
One children's pun about school is: Q: Why did the student bring scissors to school?A: He wanted to cut class. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2005. 2 February 2005, Los…
A joke was told about "higher education: in 1991: Q: Why did the little moron take a ladder to school?A: He wanted to get a higher education! The "ladder" was changed to an…
A popular cheese pun involving brie is: "There was an explosion at the cheese factory. De Brie was everywhere." "And in stumbled right into the cheese minefield. Brie…
"Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Texas minister Mike Murdock used "Go where you're celebrated, not…