“I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime”
A joke about autocorrection is: "I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime." "Punchline" was changed to "lunchtime." The joke was posted on…
“What’s a chicken’s favorite game in the pool?”/“Marco Pollo.”
"Polo" is a game. "Pollo" is Spanish for "chicken." "Marco Polo" is a game played in a pool, and there are 'Marco Pollo" jokes. "The kids in…
“Never chase someone. Chase your dreams, then they will follow”
"Never chase someone. Chase your dreams, then they will follow" is a popular motivational saying. "Stop chasing people.. Chase your dreams & if it's meant to be they will…
“I can’t wait until I retire so I can get up early on a morning and drive around really slowly”
"I can't wait until I retire so I can get up early on a morning and drive around really slowly making everyone late for work" is a jocular saying about retirement. The saying was…
“A diet is what helps a person gain weight more slowly”
"A diet is something that helps a person gain weight more slowly.—Bill Copeland" is a jocular line about dieting that was printed in February 1976 newspapers. "A diet is what helps…
“To eat is human; to digest, divine”
"To err is human; to forgive, divine" is from Alexander Pope's An Essay on Criticism (1711) . "To eat is human; to digest, divine" is a food parody. "To eat is human.…
“I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn’t even eat it”
Is chicken salad made "of" a chicken or made "for" a chicken? A joke is: "I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn't even eat it." The joke was posted on…
“Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes”
A jocular definition of an apple is: "APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes." The jocular definition was posted to the newsgroup bit.listserv.down-syn…
“He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front”
"He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front" was said by American comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) about New York-born comedian and actor…
“My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food, sushi left me”
"Sushi" sounds a little bit like "so she." A pun is: "My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food, sushi left me." The joke was posted on Twitter on…
“I’VE DECIDED TO WRITE MY TWEETS IN CAPITALS. I WROTE THIS ONE IN PARIS”
"I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE MY TWEETS IN CAPITALS. I WROTE THIS ONE IN PARIS" is a jocular saying that has been printed -- sometimes all in capitals, sometimes not -- about various…
“The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them”
"The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them" is a jocular line about cooking. "The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen (says Franklin…
“My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to be fat”
"My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to be/get fat" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Arthur "Bugs" BaerArthur "Bugs" Baer (January 9, 1886 – May 17, 1969) was an American journalist and humorist. Baer was prominent in the…
“Drinking should be done in the privacy of one’s home, where it’s necessary”
The American television sitcom Barney Miller (1975-1982) took place in a fictional New York City police station in Greenwich Village. Brooklyn-born character actor Abe Vigoda (1921-2016), playing…
“A sandwich is an unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat”
"A sandwich is an unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat" is a popular sandwich pun. "It is very hard to make both ends meat -- especially of a pic-nic sandwich" was…
WarPo (Washington Post nickname)
The Washington (DC) Post is a newspaper that has covered events in the nation's capital city -- especially the federal government -- since 1877. The newspaper's name is frequently…
“Betting is like liquor. You can make it illegal, but you can’t make it unpopular”
American journalist Arthur "Bugs" Baer (1886-1969) wrote in May 1950: "Betting is pretty much like liquor. You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular." Baer…
“I always wake up at the crack of ice”
New York-born comedian and singer Joe E, Lewis (1902-1971) was known for drinking and staying up late in night clubs. He was not known for getting up at the crack of dawn. Lewis was quoted in a…
“You can make it illegal, but you can’t make it unpopular”
Entry in progress -- B.P. American journalist Arthur “Bugs” Baer (1886-1969) frequently used the "You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular" sentence construction.…