“Home is where the heart is”
"Home" was a popular subject for early 19th century poetry. "The heart which forms the home" is a line in the poem "Solitude" that was published in The Literary…
“What is a cannibal’s favorite restaurant?”/“Five Guys.”
A cannibal and also a restaurant riddle is: Q: What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?A: Five Guys. There have been many jokes on the "Five Guys" name. "Um, we didn't…
“Work hard, put the hours in, and the boss will have an even better car next year”
An employment joke has been printed on many images: My boss pulled up in his new BMW."Nice car" I saidHe replied, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one…
“The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5”
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5" -- that is, the five days of Monday through Friday -- is a jocular saying that…
“Red Bull and Vodka. Because you want to be wide awake for this mistake”
"Red Bull and vodka -- because you want to be wide awake for this mistake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The combination is sure to keep just about anyone wide awake.…
“If you push Continental breakfast tables together, do you get a Pangaea breakfast?”
If you combine all the continental breakfast tables together, would that make for a supercontinental (Pangaea or Pangea) breakfast? "If this is the Continental breakfast, I'd hate to see…
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically”
"Home is where the heart is" is an old saying. "Home is where you can connect to the Wi-Fi automatically" or "Home is where the/your Wi-Fi connects automatically" is a…
“The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5”
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5" -- that is, the five days of Monday through Friday -- is a jocular saying that…
“I recently came into a large sum of money” (joke)
"I recently came into a large sum of money" is the first line of a Not-Sate-For-Work joke. "I came into some money recently...............fussy bloody shopkeeper wouldn't take…
“You don’t have much of a case” (damaged luggage joke)
A legal joke about damaged luggage is: "I wanted to sue airline because they damaged my luggage. I showed the damaged remains to my lawyer. He said, 'You don't have much of a…
“Why did the blonde snort Sweet’N Low?”/“She thought it was Diet Coke.”
Coke is a soft drink that doesn't have cocaine, but there's a popular riddle: Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet/Splenda/Sweet'N Low?A: She thought it was Diet Coke. The Diet…
“Man works from sun to sun, but woman’s work is never done”
"A woman's/mother's work is never done" is an old saying of uncertain authorship. "Woman's work is never done" was in an 1801 version of the poem "Darby and…
“I know how to do anything. I’m a mom”
"I know how to do anything. I'm a mom" is a popular Mother's Day quotation that has been printed on many images. American actress and comedian Roseanne Barr said it on the…
“Life doesn’t come with a manual. It comes with a mother”
"Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother" is a popular Mother's Day saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2013.…
“Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti” (Italian actress Sophia Loren)
Italian actress and sex symbol Sophia Loren was profiled in Life magazine on August 11, 1961: "She eats everything in sight, washed down with red wine, and when teased about her appetite…
“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother”
"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother" is a popular Mother's Day saying that has been printed on many images. American talk show host, producer and philanthropist…
“There’s only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it”
"There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it" is a popular Mother's Day saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "There…
“A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever”
"A mother holds her children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever" (or "Mothers hold their children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever") is a…
“Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like flowers bought from a gas station”
Nothing shows a mother her Mother's Day love like...something bought at the last minute at a gas station? Many gas stations now sell flowers, Mother's Day cards, and gift cards, so…
“Fat people aren’t marginalized. They’re buttered”
"I detest being marginalized. I prefer to be lightly buttered" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on September 20, 2011. "Marginalized" sounds a bit like…