“Latin’s not dead. It’s just Roman around”
Is Latin a dead language? "Latin isn't dead. It's just 'Roman' around," Sen. Charles Hagel (R-Neb.) said in 2004. It's likely that Hagel heard the joke from…
“How can you get rich by eating?”/“Eat fortune cookies.”
A fortune cookie riddle is: Q: How can you get rich by eating?A: Eat fortune cookies. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Wikipedia: Fortune cookieA fortune cookie is a crisp…
“The most used piece of equipment at the gym is the mirror”
"The most used piece of equipment at the gym is the mirror" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The most under used and miss used equipment in the gym, is the…
“Warm beer and cold coffee are the same temperature”
Is "warm" beer really warm, or just not cold? Is "cold" coffee really cold, or just not warm? "A warm beer and a cold coffee may be the same temperature since the…
“Justice is a dish best served cold” (otherwise, just-ice would probably melt)
"Revenge is a dish best served cold" is an old proverb. A variation was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 2, 2017: "Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it'd…
“Run like it’s midnight”
"Run like it's midnight" is a CInderella-inspired saying that has been printed on many images. The character of Cinderella had to run away from the ball at midnight. "Workout…
“How can you get rich by eating?”/“Eat fortune cookies.”
A fortune cookie riddle is: Q: How can you get rich by eating?A: Eat fortune cookies. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Wikipedia: Fortune cookieA fortune cookie is a crisp…
“You aren’t necessarily what you eat. If you eat a vegetarian, you probably are not a vegetarian”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“A pig’s favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York”
A popular pig joke us: "A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Lighten Up A Little!A pig’s favoriteNOVEMBER…
“Why do ghosts go to the gym?”/“To lift, they’re spirits.”
A ghost riddle is: Q: Why do ghosts go to the gym?A: To lift, they're spirits. The joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 1, 2017. Reddit -- 3amjokesWhy do ghosts go to the gym?…
“Why are there so many public libraries, but no public gyms?”
"We, as a country, should have public gyms akin to having public libraries" is a thought that was posted on Twitter on December 11, 2012. "Public libraries... how about public…
“Why is there a “D” in fridge, but not refrigerator?”
"Why is there a 'd' in 'fridge' when it's short for refrigerator?"is a question that was asked on the newsgroup uk.rec.waterways on June 30, 2004. The question…
“What did the suicide bomber teacher say to his students?”/“I’m only going to show this once.”
Teachers often say, "Pay attention! I'm only going to do this once!" But what if the teacher is instructing suicide bombers? A joke was posted on the newsgroup soc.culture.israel on…
“I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line”
"I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line" is a math saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on the…
“What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?”/“A beer-a-cuda.”
A pun on the name of the barracuda fish is: Q: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?A: A beer-a-cuda. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. Ceramic Tile Advice…
“What did the cat say when he lost all his money?”/“I’m paw!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?A: I'm paw (poor)! The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.tiberian-sun on October 23, 1999, and has been printed on…
“Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google Books1001 Motivational Quotes for SuccessBy Thomas J. VilordAustin, TX: Live Oak Book COmpany2011Pg. ?:Every success is built on the ability to do better than good…
“Two overachievers walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An overachiever version is: "Two overachievers walk into a bar. Clearly, the bar…
“Three Democrats walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Democrat/Republican version is: "Three Democrats/Republicans walk into a bar. The…
“What is a snake’s favorite subject at school?”/“Hiss-tory.”
A snake riddle is: Q: What is a snake's favorite subject at school?A: Hiss-tory. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1990. 14 November 1990, Lansing (MI) State Journal, pg. 8E,…