“Burritos are like blunts. If you can’t roll, get a bowl”
A burrito (a food) and a blunt (a marijuana cigar) are both rolled. "Burritos are like blunts..you put a bunch of shit in them and thats shits bomb!!!" was posted on Twitter by Chri$ on…
“My boss said to me, ‘You’re the worst train driver ever!’” (joke)
A train joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 19, 2012, and probably originated on the Sickipedia website: "You're the worst fucking train driver ever," said my…
“‘I see,’ said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw”
"'I see,' said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw" is a form of pun known as a "Wellerism." "A country paper, in speaking of a blind wood…
“Suck it up now so you don’t have to suck it in later”
"Suck it up now so you don't/won't have to suck it in later" is a dieting/exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Suck it up" means to work now (through…
“How do you protect a valuable instrument?”/“Hide it in an accordion case.”
An accordion riddle is: Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 4 September 1999, Great Falls (MT)…
“Never throw in the towel. Use it to wipe off the sweat. Then keep on going”
"You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face (and keep going)" is a motivational exercise saying that has been printed on many images.…
“You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face”
"You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face (and keep going)" is a motivational exercise saying that has been printed on many images.…
“You are not fat. You have fat. ‘Fat’ does not define you”
"You are not fat. You have fat" is a dieting/exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate it what I hear women say I am fat' no, no, NO! You are not fat, you…
“You are not fat. You have fat. You also have toes. You are not toes”
"You are not fat. You have fat" is a dieting/exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate it what I hear women say I am fat' no, no, NO! You are not fat, you…
“You are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingernails. You are not fingernails”
"You are not fat. You have fat" is a dieting/exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate it what I hear women say I am fat' no, no, NO! You are not fat, you…
“You are not fat. You have fat. There is a difference”
"You are not fat. You have fat" is a dieting/exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate it what I hear women say I am fat' no, no, NO! You are not fat, you…
“Let exercise be your stress reliever, not food”
"Let exercise be your stress reliever, not food" (or "Let exercise be your stress relief, not food") is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Let…
“Let exercise be your stress relief, not food”
"Let exercise be your stress relief, not food" (or "Let exercise be your stress reliever, not food") is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Let…
“Another fine day ruined by responsibility”
"Another fine day ruined by responsibility" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is craving days of irresponsibility -- perhaps a youthful time without…
“Democracy is the suggestion box for slaves”
"Voting is the slave's suggestion box" (or "Voting is the suggestion box for/of slaves") is an anti-voting saying that has been printed on many images. The various forms of…
“Dinosaurs had no beer. How did that work out?”
"Dinosaurs had no beer! How did that work out?" is a jocular beer saying that has been printed on many images."Dinosaurs had no beer.. How did that work out🐸☕️" was…
“Voting is the slave’s suggestion box”
"Voting is the slave's suggestion box" (or "Voting is the suggestion box for/of slaves") is an anti-voting saying that has been printed on many images. The various forms of…
“Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving”
"Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on Twitter by…
“Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge”
"Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge" is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on many images. The character of April Ludgate (played by the actor…
“Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change the toilet paper roll”
"Everybody/Everyone wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change the toilet paper roll" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Nobody wants to change the…