“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved”
"You have been assigned this mountain to show others (that) it can be moved" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is all about challenges…
“One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball”
"One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball" is a saying that has been printed on several images. A bowling ball is much bigger than a golf ball.…
“Bowling is basically an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by six seconds of exercise”
"Bowling is the ideal sport. It’s basically an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by six seconds of exercise" is a bowling saying that has been printed on several images.…
“Split happens” (bowling saying)
"Split happens" is a bowling saying that has been printed on many images. Bowlers try to avoid a split (with pins left on opposite sides of the lane). The joke is a variation on the 1980s…
“At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted?”
"Adopt-a-Highway" is a program where citizens and businesses can "adopt" a stretch of highway by helping to pay for its care. It's not like adopting a child, but there are…
“I got thrown out of the zoo for making a parrot laugh. Polly tickle correctness!”
"Politics" is sometimes jocularly written as "polly tics," and there's a "polly" joke about "political correctness." "@DanRebellato *starts car*…
“Get stoned. Drink wet cement”
"Get (really) stoned. Drink wet cement" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Get Really Stoned, Drink Wet Cement" (a saying printed on a button) was…
“The five-second rule doesn’t apply to soup”
The "five-second rule" states that if food falls on the floor, it's still good to eat if you pick it up within five seconds. The "rule," however, has been debunked.…
“Any pie made with cannabis butter is technically a pot pie”
Pot pie usually doesn't have any "pot" (marijuana), but there are jokes involving cannabutter (cannabis butter). "MIGHT FUCK AROUND AND COP SOME CANNABUTTER AND MAKE A REAL…
“The idea that women only belong in the kitchen is dated. The rest of the house needs cleaning”
"A woman's place is in the kitchen" is an old saying that is no longer politically correct, so there have been variations made. "I don't believe women should be kept in the…
“My friend tried to convince me ‘whey’ is spelled ‘whfey.’ There’s no f in whey”
"There's no fucking way" is sometimes given a pun with the word "whey." "There's no 'F' in 'whey'" was posted on Twitter by James Jillson…
“Wanderlust and city dust”
"Wanderlust and city dust" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Wanderlust and City dust" was posted on Twitter by Bitchness Monster on September 14, 2013.…
“If you follow your heart just right, it will get you to New York City”
" If you follow your heart just right it’ll get you to New York City" was posted on Facebook by Cheryl Pandemonium on January 20, 2018. "If you follow your heart just right, it…
“What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?”/“Milk and quackers.”
A "milk and crackers" pun is: Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?A: Milk and quackers. "Helen Griffith -- If you had a cow and some ducks, what would you have? --…
“If you’re allergic to bananas, do you go into bananaphylactic shock?”
People who have banana allergies don't go into "bananaphylactic" (banana + anaphylactic) shock, but there are jokes. "For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation…
“Why is the letter ‘C’ afraid of the rest of the alphabet?”/“All the other letters are Not-Cs.”
"Nazi" sounds like "Not-C." A riddle is: Q: Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?A: All the other letters are Not-Cs. The joke was posted on Reddit…
“What does illiteracy even mean?”
"What does illiteracy even mean??" was posted on Twitter by Captain Geech on August 17, 2010. The joke is that an illiterate person wouldn't know what it means. "What does…
“Keep your squats low and your standards high”
"Keep your squats low and your standards high" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep your squats low and your standards high" was posted on Twitter…
“My dad got shot from a cannon. The circus never found another man of his caliber”
A circus joke has it that a human cannonball tries to quit. (Another version has the human cannonball fly off into space.) The ringmaster sighs and says, "It's hard to find another man of…
“Squat because nobody ever wrote a song about a small ass”
"Squat because nobody ever wrote a song about a small ass" is a jocular exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Squat.. because nobody ever wrote a song about a small…