“Me and my friends are in a band called ‘Duvet.’ We’re a cover band”
A "cover band" performs "covers" -- the songs of other songwriters. "Me and my friends are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band" is a joke that was posted…
“My wife has OCD and arranges dinner plates. It’s a very rare dish order”
"Disorder" can sound a little like "dish order." "My mate has OCD. He's obsessed with organising dinner plates by weight & size. It's a very rare…
“Summer nights and bonfire lights”
"Summer nights and bonfire lights" is a summer saying that has been printed on many images. "I crave summer nights and bonfire lights" was posted on Twitter by Rachel on…
“Summer nights and ballpark lights”
"Summer nights and ballpark lights" is a summer saying that has been printed on many images. "Summer nights and ballpark lights" was posted on Twitter by nīck® on May 14,…
“Why are so few murders solved in the South?”/“No dental records and all the DNA matches.”
"OT: Bad southerner joke" was posted on the newsgroup alt.sports.football.pro.dallas-cowboys on November 26, 2003: Q: Why are so few murders solved in the southA: No dental records and…
“Holy pepperoni!”
"Holy pepperoni!" is an expression of surprise or astonishment that has been cited in print since at least 1966. "Holy Pepperoni!" is also a variety of Screamin' Sicilian…
Collapsing News Network (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (now called CNN) began in 1980 as the first all-news 24-hour television network. "Collapsing News Network" has been a CNN nickname for those who point out falling…
“The soccer goalkeeper invited my son and me to a party. It was the father, son and the goalie host”
"The hockey/soccer goalkeeper invited my son and me to a party. It was the father, son and the goalie host" -- a spoonerism of "father, son and the holy ghost" -- began as a…
“What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?”/“A PDF file.”
"PDF file" sounds -- perhaps unfortunately -- like "pedophile." "What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?A PDF File http://bit.ly/1icZw4o via…
“Why did the super villain cross the road?”/“To get to the other sidekick.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. "Why did Batman Frog cross the road without Robin Frog? To get…
“A man walks into a bar and says, ‘Give me a beer before problems start!’” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version has a man walk into a bar and shout, "Give me a beer before problems…
“Save the ales”
"Save the ales" -- a pun on "save the whales" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Save the Ales" has been printed on T-shirts since at least…
“We go together like Corona and lime”
"We go together like Corona and lime" is a popular saying that has been printed on images. Corona is a pale lager that is imported in the United States from Mexico. "Her and twitter…
“People get hired for what they know and fired for who they are”
"'People are hired for what they know and fired for who they are.' Ed Ryan" was printed in the book How to Get Rich -- By the Book (1996) by John F. Beehner. People are hired…
“We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes”
"I swim because I'm too sexy for a sport that requires clothes" (or "We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes") is a swimming saying that has been…
“In the pool, life is cool, swimmers rule”
"In the pool, life is cool, swimmers rule" is a swimming saying that has been printed on many images. "In the pool, life is cool, In the pool, swimmers Rule" was posted on the…
“I swim because I’m too sexy for a sport that requires clothes”
"I swim because I'm too sexy for a sport that requires clothes" (or "We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes") is a swimming saying that has been…
“It’s Friday…any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the window”
"It's Friday...any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the window" is a Friday saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?”/“Guardians of the Galaxy.”
The movie Guardians of the Galaxy came out in 2014, and many jokes involved the Samsung Galaxy mobile computing devices. "'Guardians of the Galaxy', some title indeed. Perhaps it has…
“Doctors bury their mistakes; journalists put theirs on the front page”
A newspaper prints its mistakes for all to see. "Doctors bury their mistakes three feet under ground; lawyers six feet above it; merchants tie theirs up in packages; farmers palm theirs off on…