“Why is the prostitute good with math?”/“Because it’s the thot that counts.”
"Thot" (a woman who is sexually promiscuous) sounds like "thought." There are several math puns about "the thot that counts," a joke on the saying "it's the…
“On a slow boat to China” (a long transport)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: (I'd Like to Get You on a) Slow Boat to China"On A Slow Boat to China" is a popular song by Frank Loesser, published in 1948. The song is a…
“Pringles got into my carpet. It’s beginning to look a lot like crisp mush”
"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" (1951) is a Christmas standard song by Meredith Wilson. If Pringles potato chips ("crisps" in the UK) get into your carpet, it…
“It’s showtime!” (“It’s show time!”)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Showtime at the ApolloShowtime at the Apollo (formerly It's Showtime at the Apollo and Apollo Live) (originally syndicated) is a music television show,…
Pogey Bait
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wiktiuonary: pogey baitEtymologyRelated to pogue (“soldier assigned administrative rather than combat duties”).Nounpogey bait (uncountable)1. (US, military, slang)…
“Every year for Christmas I ask Satan to cure me of my dyslexia”
"Santa" has the same letters as "Satan," and, of course, there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by patrickswayze’spatrickgravy on December 3, 2015: "Every year for…
“Lemme get a grande ice mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypotenuse” (coffee joke)
A joke about coffee ordering has been printed on many images: "I swear people be at Starbucks just saying random ish, 'Lemme get a grande ice mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex…
Dog and Phoney Show (Dog and Phony Show)
Politics has sometimes been called a "dog and pony show." This is sometimes also expressed as "dog and phony show" (or "dog and phoney show"), describing an event…
Dog and Phony Show (Dog and Phoney Show)
Politics has sometimes been called a "dog and pony show." This is sometimes also expressed as "dog and phony show" (or "dog and phoney show"), describing an event…
“He always knew he was a little different, but he let his light shine. Be more Rudolph”
"He always knew he was a little different, but he let his light shine regardless of what other said. Be more Rudolph" (referring to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) is an inspirational…
“I decided to greet my coworkers with a ‘Congrats on not dying in your sleep’”
"Good morning, Warren, and congratulations on once again not dying in your sleep…" is a jocular version of "good morning" that was posted on Twitter by Munsi on January 3,…
“Out of the 26 letters, only E got presents for Christmas. The other letters were not-E”
Santa Claus, according to the legend, makes a list of all the children who were naughty and nice, and brings Christmas presents only to the nice children. A pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on…
“What is cardboard’s favorite sport?”/“Boxing.”
The sport of "boxing" doesn't have anything to do with cardboard boxes, but there are jokes. A cardboard riddle has been cited in print since at least 2016: Q: What is cardboard’s…
“Yoga is single player Twister”
Is yoga like the game of Twister? "Yoga = single-player Twister" was posted on Twitter by Spike Warden 💖💜💙 on June 29, 2018. "Yoga is single player twister" was posted…
Christmas Adam (December 23, the day before Christmas Eve)
Christmas is December 25th. Christmas Eve is December 24th. Some people think that December 23rd should be called "Christmas Adam" because Adam came before Eve. "Christmas Adam"…
Wrap-up Smear
Entry in progress -- B.P. YouTubeNancy Pelosi explains 'wrap-up smear' tactic (June 22, 2017)Oct 6, 2018doesnotexist77777Nancy Pelosi explains 'wrap-up smear' tactic (June 22,…
“What language does Santa Claus speak?”/“North Polish.”
Santa Claus is said to live in the North Pole, and there are at least two riddles about it. A language riddle is from 1938: Q: What language does Santa Claus speak?A: North Polish. A nationality is…
“First rule of family gatherings: Always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want”
"First rule of family gatherings: Always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "First rule of family…
“What nationality is Santa Claus?”/“North Polish.”
Santa Claus is said to live in the North Pole, and there are at least two riddles about it. A language riddle is from 1938: Q: What language does Santa Claus speak?A: North Polish. A nationality is…
Super Saturday or Panic Saturday (Saturday before Christmas)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Super SaturdaySuper Saturday or Panic Saturday is the last Saturday before Christmas, a major day of revenue for American retailers, marking the end of the…