“The dick vein on a Snickers really makes it”
The top of a Snickers chocolate bar has waves of chocolate that appear to many people to resemble veins. "I luv snickers. Big chocolate stick in my mouth. They have veins just like a...I’ll…
“You deserve whatever happens to you on a pogo stick”
Many people believe that a pogo stick is dangerous. "You deserve whatever happens to you on a pogo stick" was posted on Twitter by Jonathan Cerda-Rowell on August 10, 2015. "You…
“Do y’all blow y’all food when it’s too hot or do y’all just hasafashafsas till you can chew it?”
"Do y’all blow y’all food when it’s too hot or do y’all just hasafashafsas till you can chew it ??" was posted on Twitter by Joshua Scott™ (and others) on January 5, 2019.…
“The past tense of ‘fit” is ‘fat’”
The past tense of "fit" is not "fat," but there are jokes. Often "sit" and "sat" are compared. "And is 'fat' the past tense of…
“Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned”
"Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.…
“What date is also a command?”/“March fourth.”
A March 4th ("March fourth"/"march forth") riddle is: Q: What date is also a command?A: March 4th. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google BooksGotcha!…
“A tablespoon is to eat tables with”
Why is it called a tablespoon? "A tablespoon is to eat a table with" was printed in the book A Hole Is to Dig: A First Book of First Definitions (1952) by Ruth Krauss. "Why is it…
“Rocky Mountain oysters are the original sack lunch”
"Rocky Mountain oysters are the original sack lunch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Rocky Mountain "oysters" (also called "calf fries") are…
“Police are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog”
“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get" is a famous line from the movie Forrest Gump (1994). Many people love chocolate, but it can kill…
“Cops are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog”
“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get" is a famous line from the movie Forrest Gump (1994). Many people love chocolate, but it can kill…
“Calf fries are the original sack lunch”
"Rocky Mountain oysters are the original sack lunch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Rocky Mountain "oysters" (also called "calf fries") are…
Pundemic (pun + pandemic)
A pandemic of jokes might be called a "pundemic" (pun + pandemic). "America's decades-long 'pundemic' originated, West explains, in a fertile matrix" was printed…
“Legality is a question of power, not of justice”
"Apartheid was legal. The Holocaust was legal. Slavery was legal. Colonialism was legal. Legality is a matter of power, not justice" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“What do you take before every meal?”/“You take a seat.”
A food riddle is: Q: What do you take before every meal?A: You take a seat. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Google BooksReally Silly JokesBy Cyl Lee Edina, MN: ABDO Publishing…
“A Milky Way is just a female Snickers”
Snickers and Milky Way are candy bars that have been frequently compared. "A Milky Way is a female Snickers. No nuts. -- Kendyl. Check it" was posted on Twitter by Laurel Burgam on April…
“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser”
"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was credited to John Christian (it is not certain who this is)…
305 Day (from 305, the Miami area code)
"305" is the telephone area code of Miami (South Florida), and on March 5th (3/05), "305 Day" is celebrated -- especially at 3:05 p.m. "305 Miami's Areacode" was…
“My walk of shame is going back for a shopping trolley after realising I can’t carry 23 items”
"My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can’t carry 23 items in my arms through the store" is a jocular saying about shopping that has been printed on many…
“My children are like inmates at a jail: They eat for free, they are all innocent…”
"My children are like inmates at a jail: They eat for free, they are all innocent and they don't like the warden" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. "has…
“If you get corona virus twice, is it called Dos Equis?”
A coronavirus has nothing to do with Corona beer, but a joke was posted on Twitter by Zach Walsh (and others) on March 4, 2020: "If you get corona virus twice is it called Dos Equis??"…