“I dropped everything to become a juggler”
"I had a friend who dropped everything to become a juggler" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Jason Buck on June 23, 2009. "I dropped everything to become a juggler" was…
“I drive safer with really good food in the passenger seat than with a close friend”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“I thought I had Covid-19 because I couldn’t breathe. Then I unbuttoned my pants and it was OK”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made people conscious of their breathing. "At first, I thought I had Covid 19 because I couldn’t breathe. Then I unbuttoned my pants and it was all…
“I drive more safely when there’s food in my passenger seat than when there’s a person there”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes”
"Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes" (or "Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without scuffing the shine on his…
“If you can’t drink for three, please leave your place for the professionals” (bar sign)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic closed many bars for an extended period. When the bars were allowed to open up again, many opened at limited capacity. A sign was displayed at a French bar:…
“A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Religious versions are: “A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender…
“Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without scuffing the shine on his shoes”
"Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes" (or "Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without scuffing the shine on his…
“Covid19 Facts: The virus can travel 6’. It cannot travel 6’1” or more…” (joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some arbitrary assumptions. "The virus can travel 6' not 6'1". It can live on all surfaces except amazon packages, it doesn't…
“I’ll take a Corona, hold the virus” (bar request)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic ad nothing to do with Corona beer, but there were jokes. One line had a customer walk into a bar and say to the bartender, "I'll take a Corona, hold the…
“When the cave people went to the cave bar and asked for a drink on the rocks, they meant it”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“Has anyone else noticed the word ‘pandemic’ is just ‘dem’ surrounded by ‘panic?’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw some Republicans point out the "Dem" (Democrat) in "pandemic." "When you realize that the word Pandemic is just ‘Dem‘ surrounded…
“Why did the sea monster eat five ships carrying potatoes?”/“No one can eat just one potato ship.”
“You can’t eat just one” ("Betcha can’t eat just one") is a popular slogan for Lay's potato chips. A riddle is: Q: Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying…
“How does a caveman like his drink?”/“On the rocks.”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it’s all way over my head”
The stars are over our heads, but what about the study of astronomy? "RT @monkjail: I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it's all a bit over my head" was posted on…
“Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“I would’ve never imagined my hands would consume more alcohol than my liver”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“Covid 19 should be re-named the ‘Common Core Virus’ because shit just ain’t adding up”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic -- and the government restrictions and quarantines -- didn’t add up (make sense) for many people. "They should rename it the common core virus because shit…
“Sneezing with a mask on feels like shitting your pants with your face”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "Sneezing in a face mask feels like shitting your pants but on your face. don’t ask me why" was…
“Astronomy is way over my head”
The stars are over our heads, but what about the study of astronomy? "RT @monkjail: I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it's all a bit over my head" was posted on…