“Nothing says a company doesn’t value you like, ‘Dear Valued Customer’”
Some business letters begin, "Dear Valued Customer." However, a truly valued customer would have a letter addressed with a personal name. "Nothing says we don't give a fuck…
“I saw a bumper sticker saying ‘I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal’”
"Saw a bumper sticker: 'I am a Veterinarian, that's why I drive like an animal'.Wonder what the sticker on a Gynecologist's car would say?" was posted on Twitter by…
“Hotel lobbies must be the main place many people had their first experience with cucumber water”
Many hotel lobbies have water with cucumber slices at the bottom. "That water w/ the cucumber slices, that you get in hotel lobbies...that shit is life, b...lol" was posted on Twitter by…
“Stay home if you’re sicc. Come over if you’re thicc”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people quarantine at home. "Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc" (or "Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc") has been…
“I fell off a 30 foot ladder yesterday. I’m fine, I was only on the second rung”
A joke has it that a person fell off a tall ladder (25 or 50 or 90 or 100 feet). Then, however, it is revealed that the person slipped on only the second rung. The ladder joke has been cited in…
“Why should you never fight a dinosaur?”/“You’ll get jurasskicked.”
"Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked" -- a pun on "Jurassic" -- has been printed on many images. “@hippieswordfish: making fun of dinosaurs to…
“Dragonfruit is the supermodel of the fruit world—all looks, little taste”
Dragonfruit sounds exotic, but many people find it tasteless. "Really, NYT, REALLY? Dragonfruit is the Blake Lively of the fruit world--pretty but tasteless. http://nyti.ms/lnnvCP" was…
“Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people quarantine at home. "Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc" (or "Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc") has been…
“What does a condiment wizard perform?”/“Saucery.”
"Sorcery" should not be confused with "saucery," but there are jokes. This riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 9, 2020: Q: What does a condiment wizard perform?A:…
“Damn girl, are you Coronavirus? Because you spread fast and you’re nasty”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Because you’re breathtaking” (pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Damn girl, are you Coronavirus? Because you’re all I’m thinking about” (pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Because if I took you home, it might kill my parents”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Because your smile is infectious” (pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Damn girl, are you Coronavirus? Because you make me sick” (pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Damn girl, are you the Coronavirus? Because I’m sick of hearing about you”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Damn girl, are you COVID-19? Because you’re killing me” (pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Damn girl, are you Coronavirus? Because I want you to stay away from me”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Damn girl, are you COVID-19? Because I want to flatten your curves” (pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…
“Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, ‘See? This is why I chew the furniture’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines. People became more understanding of dogs. "End of Day 2 on lockdown and the dog is looking at me like 'SEE? This is why I…