“Be a unicorn, not a twatopotamus”
"Be a unicorn, not a twatopotamus" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that one should be a "unicorn" (someone unique and interesting) and not a…
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“Wrapping presents is the folding laundry of Christmas”
"Wrapping presents is folding laundry’s asshole cousin" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people hate wrapping presents, just as they hate folding laundry.…
Aimez-vous Glamis (name used to avoid the “Macbeth” curse)
William Shakespeare's play Macbeth includes witches, and theater tradition has it that the play is cursed. Saying the play's name or its lines (outside of an actual performance) is said…
“Toi, toi, toi” (good luck saying)
It's often considered, in the theater and elsewhere, to be bad luck to wish someone "good luck." Instead, some people say, "Toi, toi, toi," and spit three times.…
“Time machine for sale. Guaranteed previous day delivery”
"Just bought a time machine from Amazon.Well you have to when they offer previous day delivery. http://bit.ly/1J07av2 via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh Stand Up on May 25,…
“Time machine for sale. Previous day delivery available”
"Just bought a time machine from Amazon.Well you have to when they offer previous day delivery. http://bit.ly/1J07av2 via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh Stand Up on May 25,…
“I’m at the airport and a man just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming around slowly”
"Someone collapsed at the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport. Medics claim they are coming round slowly" was posted on Twitter by Jimmy Ferguson on January 19, 2021. The joke is that…
The Glamis Comedy (name used to avoid the “Macbeth” cruse)
William Shakespeare's play Macbeth includes witches, and theater tradition has it that the play is cursed. Saying the play's name or its lines (outside of an actual performance) is said…
The Caledonian Tragedy (name used to avoid the “Macbeth” curse)
William Shakespeare's play Macbeth includes witches, and theater tradition has it that the play is cursed. Saying the play's name or its lines (outside of an actual performance) is said…
“Prosciutto implies the existence of amateursciutto”
Prosciutto is not "pro sciutto," but some people believe there should be amateursciutto, antisciutto and consciutto. "I don't really like prosciutto. I guess that makes me…
“Prosciutto implies the existence of antisciutto”
Prosciutto is not "pro sciutto," but some people believe there should be amateursciutto, antisciutto and consciutto. "I don't really like prosciutto. I guess that makes me…
“Prosciutto implies the existence of consciutto”
Prosciutto is not "pro sciutto," but some people believe there should be amateursciutto, antisciutto and consciutto. "I don't really like prosciutto. I guess that makes me…
“What is red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?”/“Autumn leaves!”
An autumn riddle is: Q: What is red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?A: Autumn leaves! "What is red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls? Autumn…
“It’s officially ‘once I get home I ain’t coming back out’ season”
"It's officially 'once I'm home I'm not coming back out' season" (that is, it's very cold or very hot) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“I am not emotionally prepared for tomorrow to be Monday”
"I am not emotionally prepared for tomorrow to be Monday" is a Sunday saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week. The saying was common…
“It’s officially ‘once I’m home I’m not coming back out’ season”
"It's officially 'once I'm home I'm not coming back out' season" (that is, it's very cold or very hot) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“Nothing worse than trying to text someone and a cyclist bounces off your windscreen”
Texting while driving can cause accidents. "Nothing worse than trying to text someone and a cyclist bounces off your windscreen" is a joke that has been printed on several images.…
“Waiter, I’d like a bottle of wine.” / “What year, sir?” / “Right now.”
Restaurant waiters sometimes ask their customers what year they want their wines from, and there's a popular joke that has been featured in comic strips. The misunderstanding customers usually…
“There’s nothing wrong with show business that good shows won’t cure”
Newspapers.com 3 May 1932, Daily News (New York, NY), "Behind the News" by Sidney Skolsky, pg. 34, col. 1:There's nothing wrong with the movies that money can't cure.…
First Lady of the Theater (First Lady of the Theatre)
The White House Historical Association The Origins of the American "First Lady"By: MATTHEW COSTELLOVice President of the Rubenstein Center for White House History, Senior…