“I always wanted to try juggling. I just never had the balls to”
"I always wanted to try juggling, but I never had the balls" is a jocular one-liner about juggling. "I've always wanted to try juggling..I've just never had the balls to do…
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“Quality is the best business plan”
"Quality is the best business plan" is a saying that has been printed on many images. John Lasseter, an American animator and the chief creative officer of Pixar Animation Studios, is…
“What’s the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? (joke)
A popular sexist sports joke is: Q: What's the difference between a feminist and a hockey player?A: A hockey player showers after three periods. The "feminist" in the joke was cited…
“Two cats sit on a roof. Which falls off first?”/“The one with the smaller mu.”
A popular math joke is: Q: Two cats are sitting on a sloping roof. Which one falls off first?A: The one with the smallest mu. The Greek letter mu stands for the coefficient of friction. The cat…
“What’s the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? (joke)
A popular sexist sports joke is: Q: What's the difference between a feminist and a hockey player?A: A hockey player showers after three periods. The "feminist" in the joke was cited…
“Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?”/“Because it’s in the ground state.”
A popular science joke involving hamburger (ground beef) is: Q: Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?A: Because it's in the ground state. The joke was told in the newsgroup net.jokes…
“f(x) walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A math version is: "f(x) walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says,…
“A fire hydrant has H2O on the inside and K9P on the outside”
"A fire hydrant has H2O (water) on the inside and K9P (canine pee) on the outside" is a joke that has been printed in several joke books. "If you find H20 inside a fire hydrant, what…
“How did the Irish jig get started?”/“Lots of beer and only one bathroom.”
A popular St. Patrick's Day joke about Irish dancing is: Q: How did the Irish jig get started?A: Lots of beer and only one bathroom. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.…
“If you can drink a drink, then why can’t you food a food?”
"If you can drink a drink, then why can;t you food a food?" is a question that has been printed on many images. "Drink" can be both a noun and a verb, but "food" is…
“Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day”
St. Patrick's Day is an Irish holiday, but many non-Irish celebrate it, also. Many people in workplaces across the United States try to wear something green on March 17th, "Everyone is…
“Kiss me, I’m Irish”
"Kiss me, I'm Irish" is a popular sentiment on St. Patrick's Day. The kissing saying probably reflects the ancient Irish tradition of kissing the Blarney Stone. "Kiss me,…
“A mathematician walks into a bar and orders ten times the drinks of everyone else…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A mathematician version is: "A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times…
“Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil”
Mathematicians solve problems with a pencil and paper. A popular joke is: "Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil." The joke has been cited in…
“Socialist jokes aren’t funny unless everybody gets them”
"Socialist jokes aren't funny unless everybody gets them" is a jocular political one-liner. "Socialist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them y'all..." was cited…
“What’s the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?” (joke)
A popular sex joke involves a golf ball: Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?A: A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball. The joke has been cited in print…
“Recipe for Irish stew: Drink the Guinness, forget about the stew” (joke)
Irish stew is a classic Irish dish, but there are many ways it can be made. Some recipes include Guinness stout. A joke Irish stew recipe is: "Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of…
“Do you serve women at this bar?”/“No, you have to supply your own.”
An old bar/restaurant joke is: Customer: “Do you serve women at this bar?” Bartender: “No, sir, you have to bring your own.” The joke possibly dates to 1936 (the Google Books date might be…
“If God wanted us to bend over, He’d have put diamonds on the floor”
Brooklyn-born comedian Joan Rivers (1933-2014) -- no fan of exercise -- said in 1988: "I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, He'd put diamonds on the floor." The…
“If it wasn’t for Edison, we’d be watching television by candlelight”
American comedian and actor George Gobel (1919-1991) hosted Light's Diamond Jubilee, a two-hour TV special that aired on October 24, 1954 on all four U.S. television networks of the time…