“Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Don MarquisDonald Robert Perry Marquis (/ˈmɑːrkwɪs/ mar-kwis; July 29, 1878 in Walnut, Illinois – December 29, 1937 in New York City) was a humorist,…
Search
Searched for . Search results: 41316
“Why do cows go to New York City?”/“To see the moosicals.”
A cow riddle about New York City is: Q: Why do cows go to New York CIty?A: To see the moosicals. "Q: What type of moo-vie do cows like best? A: Moo-sicals" was cited in 1994. "What…
“Why did the man throw a clock out the window?”/“To see time fly.”
"Time flies" means that time passes quickly, but there's a popular riddle: Q: Why did the man throw a clock out the window?A: He wanted to see time fly. The joke has been cited in…
Generation Snowflake
"Generation Snowflake" refers to young people -- especially college students -- who can't handle the real world. They are like a "snowflake" -- unique and fragile. Members…
“You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart”
A vampire is killed by a stake to the heart. There's a vegetarian version in the riddle: Q: How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?A: Drive a steak through his heart. The joke was cited in the…
“What kind of apple has a short temper?”/“A crab apple.”
Do crab apples really crabby? A pun on the "crab apple" name is: Q: What kind of apple has a short temper?A: A crab apple. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google…
“Why did the banana go to the doctor?”/“It wasn’t peeling well.”
A banana pun is: Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?A: It wasn't peeling well. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Google BooksSuper Sick Jokes and RiddlesBy Joseph…
“We got both kinds of music—country and western”
"Country" music used to be called "country and western" music. The movie The Blues Brothers (1980) popularized the joke: Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have…
“Music is like candy—you throw away the rappers”
"Music is like candy -- you throw away the rappers" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. (Candy has "wrappers.") "Music is like candy; Throw out the…
Spornosexual (sport + porno + sexual)
"Spornosexual" (sport + porno + sexual) was coined by English journalist Mark Simpson in The Telegraph (UK) on June 10, 2014, when he wrote: "This new wave puts the…
“What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?” (joke)
The Washington (DC) Metro -- a transportation system comparable to New York City's subway -- runs "under D.C." In the popular Disney animated film The Little Mermaid (1989), the…
“How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A popular series of jokes titled "Variation of a lightbulb theme" was posted by Roger Wells on net.jokes on July 24, 1982: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a…
Autohoaxer; Autohoaxing
An "autohoaxer" is someone who believes that nearly everything that is shown on the mainstream media is a hoax. "The Hoaxer Movement - The Insanity of the Everything is a Hoax Crowd.…
“How do you do the wave at a chess match?”/“With your eyebrows.”
Sports fans in many stadiums do "the wave." There's a chess joke: Q: How do chess crowds do the wave?A: With their eyebrows. The joke was told by American columnist and author…
“From sewer to brewer”
"From sewer to brewer" is a concept that was developed at the University of Ghent in Belgium in 2015. Waste water is processed to make beer. "From Sewer To Brewer, now let's go…
“Who invented spaghetti?”/“Someone who used his noodle.”
"Noodle" is slang for the brain. A popular pun is: Q: Who invented spaghetti?A: Someone who used his noodle. The "noodle" joke has been cited in print since at least 1921. 22…
“How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A well-known "light bulb" joke involving computer programmers is: Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. That's a hardware problem. The joke has been…
“What’s the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?” (joke)
American actor John Wayne (1907-1979) was famous for his portrayals of cowboys. Jack Daniel's is a brand of Tennessee whiskey. A popular (sometimes politically incorrect) joke is: Q:…
“What do you get if you boil funnybones?”/“A laughing stock.”
A pun about funnybones is: Q: What do you get if you boil funnybones?A: A laughing stock. "Laughing stock is made by slow cooking leftover funny bones" was posted on Twitter on March 5,…
Trekathon (trek + marathon)
A "trekathon" (trek + marathon) is an extensive trek, usually up a mountain. "Trek-a-thon" has been cited in print since at least 1998. The website trekathon.com explained in…