“Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle ‘farts’!”
"Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle 'farts'!" is a jocular one-line saying about ketchup bottles that has been printed on many images. "At Red Robin…
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“Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food”
"Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 17, 2011. TwitterAnna Chan…
“Need motivation to lose weight? Eat In front of a mirror. Naked”
"Need motivation to lose weight? Eat In front of a mirror. Naked" is a jocular saying about losing weight that has been printed on many images. "Eat in front of a mirror" was…
“I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables, but I discover they’re just regular donuts”
Some people try to buy organic vegetables, but buy regular vegetables by mistake. And then there are people who don't buy vegetables at all. "I hate it when I think I'm buying…
“Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat”
"Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "Dear Food: Either stop being delicious or stop making me…
“A tall guy walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version with a tall person is: "A tall guy walks into a bar. That's what he…
“Hasta la pasta” (hasta la vista + pasta)
"Hasta la vista" is Spanish for "see you later." Hasta la pasta” is a jocular rhymed saying with the same meaning that has been cited in print since at least 1988. Several…
“I’ve got no problems with genetically modified food. Just had a lovely leg of salmon”
A joke about genetically modified food is: "I don't know what all the fuss is about genetically modified food. I had a lovely leg of salmon the other day." The "leg of…
“Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch”
"Friends buy you (a) lunch. Best friends eat your lunch" is a jocular saying about friendship that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on April 22, 2010.…
“Hasta lasagna, don’t get any on ya”
"Hasta la vista" is Spanish for "see you later." "Hasta lasagna" is a jocular saying with the same meaning that has been cited in print since at least 1993.…
“What did the potato chip say to the battery?”/“If you’re Eveready, I’m Frito-Lay.”
A pun on the name Frito-Lay is: Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?A: If you're Eveready, I'm Frito-Lay. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on June 5, 1990.…
“I changed my password to ‘incorrect.’ When I forget, it will tell me, ‘Your password is incorrect’”
"I changed my password to 'incorrect.' So that whenever I forget, it will tell me, 'Your password is incorrect'" is a jocular computer saying that has been printed on…
“Just bought some Viagra tea bags. They stop your biscuit from going soft”
"Viagra’ is now available in tea bags. It doesn’t enhance your sexual performance, but it does stop your biscuit going soft" is a jocular one-line saying about Viagra that has been…
“A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine”
"A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 19, 2016.…
“Maybe I should’ve said DiMaggio?” (talking dog joke)
Was New York Yankee Babe Ruth (1895-1948) the greatest baseball player ever? Or was it New York Yankee Joe DiMaggio (1914-1999). A joke involves a man who enter a bar and tells the bartender that…
“What’s the difference between Middle Earth and New York City?”/“Two towers.”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One riddle is: Q: What's the difference between…
“Patience is what you have when there are too many witnesses”
"Patience is what you have when there are too many witnesses"is a jocular saying about patience -- not losing one's composure -- that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Marriage is a workshop…where the husband works and the wife shops”
"Marriage is a workshop...where the husband works and the wife shops" is a jocular marriage saying that has been printed on many images. "Marriage is like a workshop: husband works,…
“A black hole walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An astronomy version is: "A black hole walks into a bar. It tells the bartender,…
“A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine”
"A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 19, 2016.…