“Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic”
"Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic" is a jocular one-line saying about sarcasm that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill &…
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“Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream”
"Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream" are motivational lines that have been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in…
“Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring”
"Hustle until the/your haters ask if you're hiring" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Hustle until your haters ask if you're hiring" was…
“All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors”
"All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?”
Entry in progress -- B.P."Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?" is a jocular line that has been
“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 20 June 2008, Townsville (Queensland) Bulletin, "Psyched Up" by Marie Bella, pg. 207:Borrowing the words from an unknown sage: "Patience is the ability to…
“Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill & Grace is an American sitcom created by Max Mutchnick and David Kohan about the relationship between best friends Will Truman (Eric…
“An attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar…” (joke)
An all-too-real bar joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 14, 2017: "An attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar last night...and brought it to a table of friends." Reddit --…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“The best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap the wife”
"Apparently the best way to get a strong cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So I always slap the wife before she goes into the kitchen!" is a tea joke that has been printed on several…
“How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“None. They just beat the room for being black.”
A "racist police" riddle has been printed on many images: Q: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?A: They don't. They arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the…
“How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?”
"How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?" (or "How much shit could a dipshit dip if a dipshit could dip shit?") is a jocular line that has been printed on…
“I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper? She said they’re old school” (joke)
Are newspapers obsolete? "iPad can't replace a newspaper for sure at least in swatting a fly!" was posted on Twitter on September 10, 2010. A joke was posted on Twitter on June 24,…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“Is it whiskey?”/“Yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”
A whiskey joke has been printed on many images: "Two Chinese men break into a Scottish distillery. One asks, 'Is it whiskey?' The other says, 'Yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing…
“I have a smart phone with a dumb battery”
"I have a smart phone with a dumb battery" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Smart phone has a dumb battery" was posted on Twitter on April 17,…
“Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave”
"Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave" is a jocular one-line saying about rush hour. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene”
"Without making a scene" means without disruption. A theatre joke is: "I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene." The theatre pun has been…