“Tough shit if you do not eat enough fiber”
"Don't get enough fiber? Tough shit" was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.kibology on October 8, 1996. The joke was popularized by stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr on the British…
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“Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!”
"Fat chance" actually means slim or no chance. "Fat chance" shouldn't be confused with "fat chants," but there are jokes. "My wife seems to think that…
“Weight loss pills stolen this morning—police say suspects are still at large”
Police suspects are often said to be "at large" (that is, not captured). "At large" has nothing to do with weight, but there are jokes. This was posted on the website Pun of the…
“Marching Band: Making socially awkward kids feel accepted since July”
"Marching Band: Making socially awkward kids feel accepted since August" is a jocular saying that has been made into an image. GK1932 commented: "Dumbass, you know Band Camp starts…
“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol”
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated from a bumper sticker. "I drive way too…
“Yay, it’s Friday! Oh wait, I’m a realtor”
Many realtors work on weekends. "Yay, it's Friday! Oh wait, I'm a realtor" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Yaaaaay! It's Friday!!! Oh wait…
BYOB (Bring Your Own Bag)
"BYOB" doesn't always stand for "Bring Your Own Bottle." "BYOB Bring Your Own Bag" has been printed on many images. Stores request customers to bring their own…
“What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?”/“Fat. You get fat.”
An anti-joke about the number 3.14 ("pi") was posted on Twitter by Zack Riley 🇦🇺 on October 31, 2018: "What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?Fat, you get Fat.What? were you…
“Today, I found a penny. It reminded me of you” (joke)
"Today, I found a penny. It reminded me of you -- worthless and found in everyone's pants" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Found a penny on the ground today and…
“It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it”
“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. American stand-up comedian Steven Wright has used the line since at…
“Spice—the fennel frontier”
"Space -- the final frontier" is a the famous opening line to the Star Trek science fiction television series. "Spice -- the fennel frontier" is a joke that has been cited in…
“Diner: I can’t eat this! Call the manager! Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it, either.”
A joke was printed in the Greensboro (NC) Record on October 22, 1925: Diner: "This soup is terrible! Send the manager here right away!"Waiter: "It's no use, sir. He won't…
T-triple-P (titles, power, pork and patronage)
"T-triple-P" is New York State government slang for "titles, power, pork and patronage." The acronym was coined by Brooklyn Democratic State Senate Leader John Sampson on July…
“Clarinet: I wet my reeds with the tears of brass players”
"Clarinet: I wet my reeds with the tears of brass players" is a jocular music saying that has been printed on many images. "I wet my reeds with the tears of brass players" was…
Big Ugly (New York State budget process nickname)
The New York State budget process in Albany, New York, has been called the "Big Ugly." The name comes from the 1990 budget deal -- "a 235-page monstrosity accurately dubbed 'the…
Carwashero (carwash worker)
A "carwashero" (plural "carwasheros") is a carwash worker. The term was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on March 23, 2008, describing the Spanish-speaking immigrants who…
“Why are buffalo wings so small when buffalo are so big?”
"Buffalo wings" are chicken wings that were first popularized in Buffalo, New York. The wings are not from a buffalo animal, but there are jokes. "Why are buffalo wings so small?…
“On Fridays, I prefer my espresso in a martini”
"On Fridays, I prefer my espresso in a martini" is a Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "On a Friday we prefer our espresso in a martini!" was posted on Twitter…
“Music always sounds better on Friday”
"Music always sounds better on Friday" is a Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "Music always sounds better on Friday” was posted on Twitter by Lou Brutus on…
“It’s Friday, time to go make stories for Monday”
"It’s Friday, time to go make stories for Monday" is a Friday saying -- the "stories" are for a return to work on Monday -- that has been printed on many images. "It’s…