“I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds…” (joke)
"Mist" for the word "missed" is a common weather pun. "I haven't the foggiest idea or have I mist the point, sorry my thoughts are a bit cloudy at the moment!"…
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“How do you break into a house?”/“Intruder window.”
"Intruder window" is an old joke for "in troo der window" or "in through the window." The joke ("he climbed intruder window") might have originated in the…
“What happens when someone steals uranium?”/“It becomes theiranium.”
"Uranium" starts with "you" in several puns. "Uranium Myranium Theiranium" was posted on Twitter by J Farrers on November 4, 2015. A riddle was posted on Reddit --…
“Threw some butter at my coworkers today. They said I should try Anchor management”
"Anger management” is sometimes punned as “anchor management.” Anchor is also a brand of butter in New Zealand. "I always freak out when I spread a certain butter. I need Anchor…
“Where do horses live?”/“In a neigh-borhood.”
A pun the word "neighborhood" is: Q: Where do horses live?A: In a neigh-borhood. "Where do horses live? In the neighhhhborhood" was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times,on…
“Fog in Channel; Continent Cut Off” (UK newspaper headline joke)
"Fog in Channel; Continent Isolated" (or "Fog in Channel; Continent Cut Off" is a classic British newspaper headline that is probably apocryphal. The European continent is…
“Kiss my ace” (tennis/volleyball/cardplaying saying)
"Kiss my ace" (kiss my ass + ace) is a tennis/volleyball/cardplaying saying that has been printed in many images. "Kiss My Ace" (a volleyball team name) was printed in The Daily…
British Invasion (Broadway in the 1950s; rock and roll music in the 1960s)
The 1960s musical term "British Invasion" refers to the introduction to the United States of pop and rock groups such as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Who, the Kinks, the Dave…
Pickle Boat
Entry in progress -- B.P. OCLC WorldCat recordSongs children love to singAuthor: Ella JenkinsPublisher: Washington, D.C. : Smithsonian Folkways, ℗1996.Edition/Format: Music CD : CD audio :…
“What’s the difference between a king and a bartender?”/“One reigns and the other pours.”
A riddle was printed in the Winnipeg (Manitoba) Tribune on July 11, 1914: Q: What's the difference between a king and a bartender?A: That's easy. A king reigns and a bartender pours!…
“Intelligence is like underwear—have it, but don’t show it off”
"Intelligence is like underwear -- have it, but don't show it off" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Intelligence is like underwear; everybody should have some,…
“Have you heard about the guy who bowled three hundred and one?” (joke)
The maximum (perfect) score in bowling is 300. "Have you heard about the guy who bowled three hundred and one?" is an old joke. When someone says this is not possible, the answer is,…
“Winning without honor is worse than a loss”
American author Frank Sonnenberg said both "Winning without honor, is worse than a resounding defeat" and "Winning without honor is worse than a loss." Sonnenberg wrote on his…
“Dad, can you do my math homework for me?”/“No, son, it wouldn’t be right.”
A homework joke is: Son: Dad, can you do my math homework for me?Dad: No. son, it wouldn't be right.Son: Well, at least you could try. The joke is that the father is saying that it…
“Education is not the answer to the question. Education is the means to the answer to all questions”
"Education is not the answer to the question. Education is the means to the answer to all questions" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Someone once said,…
“Winning without honor, is worse than a resounding defeat”
American author Frank Sonnenberg said both "Winning without honor, is worse than a resounding defeat" and "Winning without honor is worse than a loss." Sonnenberg wrote on his…
“What do you get hanging from apple trees?”/“Sore arms.”
A fruit riddle is: Q: What do you get hanging from apple trees?A: Sore arms. The joke is that the answer is a person hanging from the tree, not a fruit. Other fruits besides "apple" have…
“The parking lot at clown school must be really small”
The circus "clown car" gag has many clowns fitting into just one small car. A clown college used to exist, and it had a parking lot. "The dormitory parking lot at Clown College…
“Unsweetened tea isn’t actually unsweetened, it’s non-sweetened”
Several people have pointed out that it shouldn't be called "unsweetened" tea, but should be called "non-sweetened " tea. The sweetness (such as sugar) wasn't taken…
“I swallowed a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had”
"Thesaurus" sometimes sounds like "the sorest." "My mom just said when she had strep she had thesaurus throat shes ever had" was posted on Twitter by Jake DeLoera on…