“What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween?”/“Gobble-ins!”
Halloween has goblins; Thanksgiving has gobblers. "After Halloween there's Thanksgiving! From goblins to gobblers!" was in a "Josephine" comic strip printed in many…
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“I write songs about sewing machines. I’m a Singer songwriter”
The Singer Corporation makes sewing machines. Of course, there are jokes about musical singers. "#wokeupthismorning to compose another ditty about an old-fashioned sewing machine. That's…
“Name three things that don’t hang themselves.”/“Christmas ornaments, drywall and Jeffrey Epstein”
American financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was born in Brooklyn in 1953. Epstein died in his jail cell in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan on August 10, 2019,…
“I relabeled all the jars in the spice rack at home. I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin”
"I relabeled all the jars in my mom's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 22, 2019. "Thyme is cumin"…
“Sharp cheddar is the dark chocolate of cheese”
Sharp cheddar has a deeper, more intense flavor, and it has been compared to dark chocolate. "Sharp Cheddar is the Dark Chocolate of cheese" was posted on Twitter by Oxblood Abernathy on…
“Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” (EDKH or JEDKH)
American financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was born in Brooklyn in 1953. Epstein died in his jail cell in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan on August 10, 2019,…
“Every day and twice on Sunday” (“Six times a week and twice on Sunday”)
"Every day and twice on Sunday(s)" is a saying that has been used in several ways. The first citations involve Christian prayer. "Preaching once every Day (twice on Sundays)"…
“Happiness is homemade”
"Happiness is homemade" is a saying that has been printed on many images and has been featured in many kitchens. "Show may be easily purchased; but happiness is home-made…
“For four years, I went to a child psychologist. That kid didn’t help me at all”
A "child psychologist" is a psychologist for children. A "child psychologist" isn't a psychologist who's a child, but there are jokes. New York-based stand-up comedian…
“Always writing my name in cursive is my signature move”
A "signature move" (one's style) doesn't usually involve one's signature, but there are jokes. "Writing my name in cursive is my signature move" was posted on…
“Before the movie starts, it’s just 50 people sitting in the dark eating corn”
When people go out to watch a movie, they often buy popcorn and start eating it before the movie starts. "Before the movie starts, it’s just 50 people sitting in the dark eating corn"…
“Don’t look for crumbs when there’s a cake right in front of you”
The "Dear Abby" syndicated newspaper advice column by Abigail Van Buren (the pen name, written by Pauline Phillips and her daughter Jeanine Phillips) in February 1991 answered a letter…
“Don’t throw away cake to start looking for crumbs”
The "Dear Abby" syndicated newspaper advice column by Abigail Van Buren (the pen name, written by Pauline Phillips and her daughter Jeanine Phillips) in February 1991 answered a letter…
“Do deer like cheese?”/“Fawn do.”
"Fondue" sounds a bit like "fawn do," and there are jokes. "Most deer don't eat cheese for dinner, but fawn do" was posted on Twitter by Marty Flanagan on April…
“The difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is staggering”
The word "staggering" can be both an adjective (meaning "overhwleming" or "amazing") and a noun (the motion of someone who staggers). A pun was posted on Reddit --…
“If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly because communication is key”
"Communication is key" is a saying; it doesn't refer to an actual key that opens locks, but there are jokes. "If communication is the key...we are locked out" was posted on…
“The guy who fell off the ferris wheel is at the hospital. He’s in fair condition”
The word "fair" can be an adjective ("reasonable" or "adequate") and a noun (such as a county fair). "Confession: Whenever I read 'at the hospital in fair…
“I call bravo sierra” (“I call bullshit”)
"Bravo sierra" means, using the phonetic alphabet, the letters "B" and "S," and stands for the words "bull shit" (or "bullshit"). "I think…
Bravo Sierra (b.s., or bullshit)
"Bravo sierra" means, using the phonetic alphabet, the letters "B" and "S," and stands for the words "bull shit" (or "bullshit"). "I think…
“Don’t worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas…”
Many people are concerned about gaining "holiday pounds" over Thanksgiving and Christmas. "It’s not what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas that hurts but what you eat…