“I’ll take a Corona, hold the virus” (bar request)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic ad nothing to do with Corona beer, but there were jokes. One line had a customer walk into a bar and say to the bartender, "I'll take a Corona, hold the…
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“When the cave people went to the cave bar and asked for a drink on the rocks, they meant it”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“Has anyone else noticed the word ‘pandemic’ is just ‘dem’ surrounded by ‘panic?’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw some Republicans point out the "Dem" (Democrat) in "pandemic." "When you realize that the word Pandemic is just ‘Dem‘ surrounded…
“Why did the sea monster eat five ships carrying potatoes?”/“No one can eat just one potato ship.”
“You can’t eat just one” ("Betcha can’t eat just one") is a popular slogan for Lay's potato chips. A riddle is: Q: Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying…
“How does a caveman like his drink?”/“On the rocks.”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it’s all way over my head”
The stars are over our heads, but what about the study of astronomy? "RT @monkjail: I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it's all a bit over my head" was posted on…
“Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“I would’ve never imagined my hands would consume more alcohol than my liver”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“Covid 19 should be re-named the ‘Common Core Virus’ because shit just ain’t adding up”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic -- and the government restrictions and quarantines -- didn’t add up (make sense) for many people. "They should rename it the common core virus because shit…
“Sneezing with a mask on feels like shitting your pants with your face”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "Sneezing in a face mask feels like shitting your pants but on your face. don’t ask me why" was…
“Astronomy is way over my head”
The stars are over our heads, but what about the study of astronomy? "RT @monkjail: I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it's all a bit over my head" was posted on…
“Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s quarantine”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Maybelline New York City, an American-based New York City multinational cosmetics company, had its advetising tagline, "(Maybe…
“Maybe she’s losing it. Maybe it’s quarantine”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Maybelline New York City, an American-based New York City multinational cosmetics company, had its advetising tagline, "(Maybe…
“The first rule of vegan fight club. Tell everyone about vegan fight club”
Vegans have a reputation of telling everyone that they're vegans. “How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a popular joke. "First…
“I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
“What do you call a baker with a cold?”/“Coughy cake.”
"Coffee cake" should not be confused with "coughee cake" or "coughy cake," but there are jokes. "What do you call a baker with a cold?..........Coughee cake...bah…
“If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back with tacos, it was meant to be”
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with" is a modern proverb. "If you love somebody, let them…
“Why did the cake go to the doctor?”/“It was a coughee cake.”
"Coffee cake" should not be confused with "coughee cake" or "coughy cake," but there are jokes. "What do you call a baker with a cold?..........Coughee cake...bah…
“Does anyone know if we can start taking showers yet? Or are we still just washing our hands?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many messages to wash hands, but what about taking showers? "Does anyone know if we can take a shower now, or we should keep just washing our…
“Everything for summer is canceled. May as well just put up the Christmas tree and call it a year”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in lockdowns and many cancellations, including, according to some people, the season of summer. "4th day of quarantine and I already want to put up…