“In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills”
"In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills" is a school saying that has been printed on many images. "Benefits of boring classes: 1)improve drawing skills" was…
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“What has college taught you?”/“That no matter how much sleep I get I’ll always be tired.”
College is a lot of work. "I've learned in college that no matter how much sleep I get I'll always be tired the next day, so might as well stay up and her shit done" was posted…
“Worms in apples has been less of a problem than what we expected as kids”
Children are often taught about worms in apples. "Growing up, I thought quicksand and worms in apples would be much more prevalent problems in my life. I have yet to encounter either" was…
“Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it”
Many people do not like to eat pizza crusts. However, some people reason that they paid for a pizza, so they might as well eat the whole thing. "Not eating crust is some childish shit. If I…
“My Greek yogurt is expired. Does this make it Ancient Greek yogurt now?”
Does expired Greek yogurt acquire more culture and become Ancient Greek yogurt? "And the yogurt's so old it's officially Ancient Greek yogurt!" was posted on Twitter by Duncan…
“If I were a judge, I’d change my surname to Mental”
Is there a judgmental judge named Judge Mental? "Or I'll change my last name to 'Mental' so when I get my own show they'll say; 'all rise for Judge Mental'"…
“What’s next, is vinegar going to be renamed vi?”
The Black Lives Matter movement resulted in some name changes, such as the band Lady Antebellum changing to the name Lady A. This was posted on Sickipedia on June 12, 2020: "Episodes of Fawlty…
“‘Lazy’ is such an ugly word. I prefer the term ‘selective participation’”
"'Lazy' is such an ugly word. I prefer the term 'selective participation'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer…
“Husband and I went grocery shopping with masks, got home, took off masks…wrong husband!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Husband and I went grocery shopping with masks. Got home, took off masks, brought home wrong husband! Stay…
“Dragonfruit is the ‘super hot girl with no personality’ of the fruit world”
Dragonfruit sounds exotic, but many people find it tasteless. "Really, NYT, REALLY? Dragonfruit is the Blake Lively of the fruit world--pretty but tasteless. http://nyti.ms/lnnvCP" was…
“Nothing says a company doesn’t value you like, ‘Dear Valued Customer’”
Some business letters begin, "Dear Valued Customer." However, a truly valued customer would have a letter addressed with a personal name. "Nothing says we don't give a fuck…
“I saw a bumper sticker saying ‘I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal’”
"Saw a bumper sticker: 'I am a Veterinarian, that's why I drive like an animal'.Wonder what the sticker on a Gynecologist's car would say?" was posted on Twitter by…
“Hotel lobbies must be the main place many people had their first experience with cucumber water”
Many hotel lobbies have water with cucumber slices at the bottom. "That water w/ the cucumber slices, that you get in hotel lobbies...that shit is life, b...lol" was posted on Twitter by…
“Stay home if you’re sicc. Come over if you’re thicc”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people quarantine at home. "Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc" (or "Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc") has been…
“I fell off a 30 foot ladder yesterday. I’m fine, I was only on the second rung”
A joke has it that a person fell off a tall ladder (25 or 50 or 90 or 100 feet). Then, however, it is revealed that the person slipped on only the second rung. The ladder joke has been cited in…
“Why should you never fight a dinosaur?”/“You’ll get jurasskicked.”
"Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked" -- a pun on "Jurassic" -- has been printed on many images. “@hippieswordfish: making fun of dinosaurs to…
“Dragonfruit is the supermodel of the fruit world—all looks, little taste”
Dragonfruit sounds exotic, but many people find it tasteless. "Really, NYT, REALLY? Dragonfruit is the Blake Lively of the fruit world--pretty but tasteless. http://nyti.ms/lnnvCP" was…
“Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people quarantine at home. "Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc" (or "Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc") has been…
“What does a condiment wizard perform?”/“Saucery.”
"Sorcery" should not be confused with "saucery," but there are jokes. This riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 9, 2020: Q: What does a condiment wizard perform?A:…
“Damn girl, are you Coronavirus? Because you spread fast and you’re nasty”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many jocular pickup lines (and anti-pickup lines). "Hey girl, are you Coronavirus? Cause you take my breath away" was posted on Twitter by…