“Keep the Earth clean. It’s not Uranus”
"Keep the Earth/planet clean. It’s not Uranus" -- usually made to sound like "your anus" --is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep the Earth clean -…
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“An anteater walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Anteaters have long noses, and there are three joke versions. "Also...an anteater…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“It’s only Quarantine if it’s in the Quarante region of France” (joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. "Champagne" is sometimes used as a generic term for sparkling wine, but legally, it must come from the Champagne wine region of…
“There are days when I need coffee to come out of the shower head”
Many people need coffee immediately upon waking. "This is gonna be one of those days where i wish coffee came out of the shower head" was posted on Twitter by Aimee on November 19, 2012.…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“Why did the runner stop listening to music?”/“Because she broke too many records.”
A riddle about running is: Q: Why did the runner stop listening to music?A: Because she broke too many records. The joke was posted on Twitter by Steven on November 15, 2016. Twitter…
“Gun control only works out well for those who control the guns”
"Gun control -- it only ends well for those who control the guns" is a saying shown on a meme with a photo of people lined up against a wall, probably about to be executed. The meme was…
“Gun control only ends well for those who control the guns”
"Gun control -- it only ends well for those who control the guns" is a saying shown on a meme with a photo of people lined up against a wall, probably about to be executed. The meme was…
“What do you call a fake koi fish?”/“A dekoi.”
A koi fish riddle is: Q: What do you call a fake koi fish?A: A dekoi. "Dekoi" is pronounced like "decoy." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 7, 2019. Wikipedia:…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a big disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“New Yorkers think ‘upstate’ is anything north of the Bronx”
An old joke has it that a New Yorker considers anything north of the Bronx to be "upstate." The Bronx is the most northern borough of New York City. This definition of "upstate"…
“Every bartender I’ve ever met is better at de-escalating conflict than the police”
The George Floyd protests in May and June 2020 were against police brutality and racism in policing. Some people contrasted the police with how bartenders handle disputes. "Every bartender…
“You know it’s bad when you don’t even get morning skinny anymore”
Some overweight people at least feel skinny in the morning. "You know the holiday season/freshman 15 is approaching when you don’t even get morning skinny anymore" was posted on Twitter…
“This year I won’t be going to the Maldives because of covid19” (joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled international travel plans for many people. "This year I won't be going to the Maldives because of covid19. Normally I don't go to the…
“I wear a mask while jogging. It’s a running gag”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. Many people felt gagged by the masks. "I wear a mask while jogging. It's a running gag" was…
“The ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ film was a big lie. They didn’t damage a single chainsaw”
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a 1974 American slasher film. A joke was posted on Sickipedia and reposted on Twitter on September 21, 2013: "The 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' film was a…
“A hangover is just your body reminding you that you’re an idiot”
"A hangover is just your body reminding you that you’re an idiot" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Trevor S on August 29,…
“3.14159265 walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Pi (3.1414159265...) version is: "3.14159265 walks into a bar and the barman says,…
“Have you heard the joke about getting rid of COVID? It’s a riot!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic in March and April 2020 was followed by the George Floyd protests in late May 2020. "Have you heard the joke about getting rid of COVID?? It's a…