“Crunchy peanut butter is just peanut butter with pulp”
Chunky peanut butter and crunchy peanut butter have been compared to orange juice with pulp. Both peanuts butters contain some coarsely-ground peanut fragments. "I don't get chunky…
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“A cactus is a violent cucumber”
A cactus is sometimes compared to a cucumber. "Is a cactus just a violent cucumber?" was posted on Twitter by Redtildead on May 18, 2015. "Cactuses are just violent cucumbers"…
“I bought bath salts, but my bath still tastes bland”
Bath salts are not for eating baths -- and there is no "bath peppers" -- but there are jokes. "For the woman you love, how about bath salts? And for the woman you hate how about bath…
“I don’t like to toot my own horn, which is why I steal other people’s trumpets”
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“I hate to toot my own horn, but I’ve gotten pretty good at playing other people’s trumpets!”
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“Bath salts imply the existence of bath peppers”
Bath salts are not for eating baths -- and there is no "bath peppers" -- but there are jokes. "For the woman you love, how about bath salts? And for the woman you hate how about bath…
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?”/“Stolen.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?"/"Nacho cheese" is a famous riddle. "What do you call cheese that isn't yours?"/"Stolen" is an anti-joke of…
“A friend told me that all apples were yellow… I was like, ‘that’s bananas’”
"A friend told me that all apples were yellow... I was like, 'that's bananas'" is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 12, 2016. "Bananas" can…
“Bath salts? What about bath peppers?! Heh!”
Bath salts are not for eating baths -- and there is no "bath peppers" -- but there are jokes. "For the woman you love, how about bath salts? And for the woman you hate how about bath…
“A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of my ribbon-repair business yesterday”
Many businesses are opened by a ribbon-cutting ceremony. But what if the business is repairing ribbons? "The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing" was…
“If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people’s trumpets…” (joke)
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“What’s the opposite of a hot dog?”/“A chili dog.”
If "hot" is the opposite of "chilly," are "hot dogs" the opposite of "chili dogs"? "Realized that the difference between a hot dog and chili dog is…
“A hot dog is the opposite of a chili dog”
If "hot" is the opposite of "chilly," are "hot dogs" the opposite of "chili dogs"? "Realized that the difference between a hot dog and chili dog is…
“When the rich rob the poor, it’s called business. When the poor fight back, it’s called violence”
"When the rich rob the poor, it's called business. When the poor fight back, it's called violence" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @TLW3 When the poor…
“What’s the opposite of a cool cat?”/“A hot dog.”
A hot dog riddle has been cited in print since at least 1969: Q: What's the opposite of a hot dog?A: A cool cat. A different form has been cited since at least 1980: Q: What is the opposite of…
“What’s the opposite of a hot dog?”/“A cool cat.”
A hot dog riddle has been cited in print since at least 1969: Q: What's the opposite of a hot dog?A: A cool cat. A different form has been cited since at least 1980: Q: What is the opposite of…
“I love watching The History Channel. It’s my favorite past time”
The History Channel deals with a "past time," and watching it can be a favorite "pastime." This joke was posted on Twitter by 3AM on September 13, 2019, and on Reddit --…
“A dressmaker sews what she gathers; a farmer gathers what he sows”
Entry in progress -- BP Newspapers.com6 September 1900, Grant County Tribune (Hyannis, NE), pg. 7, col. 3:A farmer gathers what he sows while a seamstress sews what she gathers. TwitterAltrincham…
“If the grocery store has a section for health food, then what is the rest of the store?”
"If there is a 'health food' section in the grocery store, what does that make the rest of the food sold there?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Dr, Mark Hyman…
“If there is a ‘health food’ section in a grocery store, what does that make the rest of the food?”
"If there is a 'health food' section in the grocery store, what does that make the rest of the food sold there?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Dr, Mark Hyman…