“If you eat too much chorizo you’ll end up chorizontal”
"Chorizontal" (chorizo + horizontal) is a food portmanteau word that has appeared in several jokes. "'What type of land are chorizo factories built on?'…
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Chorizontal (chorizo + horizontal)
"Chorizontal" (chorizo + horizontal) is a food portmanteau word that has appeared in several jokes. "'What type of land are chorizo factories built on?'…
“A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A The Chronicles of Narnia version is: "A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a…
“We live in a time where smart people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended”
"We live in a time/world where smart people are silenced so (that) stupid people won't be offended" (or "We live in an age where smart people are silenced so that stupid people…
“Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap”
"Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Dove (chocolate) is owned by Mars, Incorporated, but Dove (soap) is owned by Unilever…
“Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking…”
"Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Tolerance will…
“Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible arguing with strangers about politics”
"Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers (about politics)" is a sarcastic saying that has been printed on many images. "We…
“Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing”
"Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers (about politics)" is a sarcastic saying that has been printed on many images. "We…
“I saw a bank that said ‘24 Hour Banking,’ but I don’t have that much time”
"24-hour banking" usually implies that there is an ATM at the bank that allows transactions all day (24 hours). It doesn't mean that a bank customer has to spend 24 hours at the…
“A McDonald’s sign said, ‘All Day Breakfast.’ I thought, ‘I don’t have time for that’”
The Waffle House and IHOP (International House of Pancakes) have been serving breakfast all day ("breakfast anytime") since the 1950s. Jack in the Box has served breakfast all day since…
“What do prostitutes eat before dinner?”/“Whore derves.”
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
Whore Derve (hors d’oeuvre)
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
“You’re telling me a whore made these derves?”
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
“What are ‘derves’? I heard the whores love ‘em”
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
“How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don’t. We are all depressed, broke and fat… not just you”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“How to vent on social media. Step 1: Don’t. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“How to vent on Twitter. Step 1: Don’t. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“Ten packets of Walkers crisps have been sent to the ISS. It was running low on air”
Bags of potato chips (called "crisps" in the UK) often come packed with a lot of air. "Ten packets of Walkers crisps have been sent to the International Space Station after reports…
“How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don’t. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“How many pedants does it take to change a lightbulb?” (riddle)
A lightbulb joke was posted on rec.humor on September 9, 1992: Q: How many pedants does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Pedants don't c-h-a-n-g-e lightbulbs, they r-e-p-l-a-c-e them. Another…