“What do you call a couple of asses in an asparagus patch?”/“Ass pair I guess.”
"Asparagus" can sound like "ass pair I guess." "Word for the day: ASS PAIR I GUESS Eat some and turn on the fan when you tinkle" was posted on Twitter by Sheriff Opie…
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“What do you call an angry nut?”/“A pissed-achio.”
"Pistachio" sounds like "pissed-achio," and there are jokes. "Hmmmmmmmm! Just finished a large bag of pissed achios and some plum brandy" was posted on the newsgroup…
“Where do they manufacture smells?”/“The ol’ factory.”
"Olfactory" sounds like "ol' factory" or "ole factory" (old factory), and there are jokes. "Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory…
“What kind of nut is drunk?”/“A pissed-achio.”
"Pistachio" sounds like "pissed-achio," and there are jokes. "Hmmmmmmmm! Just finished a large bag of pissed achios and some plum brandy" was posted on the newsgroup…
“What’s the difference between a politician and an onion?” (riddle)
A politician riddle is: Q: What's the difference between a politician and an onion? A: No one sheds a tear when you chop a politician. "What's the difference between a politician and…
Sprinter (spring + winter)
"Sprinter" (spring + winter) is a portmanteau word that has been printed on many images. "Sprummer" (spring + summer) is a related term. Wiktionary: sprinterEtymologyBlend of…
“I recently joined a support group for people who talk a lot. We call ourselves On and On Anon”
"'I talk too much,' Evan Davis admitted. 'I've joined a self-help group called On-and-On-Anon. Our meetings go forever'" was printed in the Lansing (MI) State…
Sprummer (spring + summer)
"Sprummer" (spring + summer) is a portmanteau word that has been printed on many images. "Sprinter" (spring + winter) is a related term. Wiktionary: sprummer EtymologyBlend of…
“True words are not always pretty, and pretty words are not always true”
"Pretty words are not always true, and true words are not always pretty" (or "True words are not always pretty, and pretty words are not always true") is a saying that has been…
“Pretty words are not always true, and true words are not always pretty”
"Pretty words are not always true, and true words are not always pretty" (or "True words are not always pretty, and pretty words are not always true") is a saying that has been…
“A drinking establishment for brass enthusiasts: HornPub”
Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. There is no HornPub, but there are jokes. "I'm launching a brass instrument sex fetish site soon. I call it HornPub" was…
“We live in a world where smart people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended”
"We live in a time/world where smart people are silenced so (that) stupid people won't be offended" (or "We live in an age where smart people are silenced so that stupid people…
“We live in times where smart people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended”
"We live in a time/world where smart people are silenced so (that) stupid people won't be offended" (or "We live in an age where smart people are silenced so that stupid people…
“We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended”
"We live in a time/world where smart people are silenced so (that) stupid people won't be offended" (or "We live in an age where smart people are silenced so that stupid people…
“We live in an age where smart people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended”
"We live in a time/world where smart people are silenced so (that) stupid people won't be offended" (or "We live in an age where smart people are silenced so that stupid people…
“What do you call a place where brass musicians hang out and drink?”/“HornPub.”
Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. There is no HornPub, but there are jokes. "I'm launching a brass instrument sex fetish site soon. I call it HornPub" was…
“I’m launching a brass instrument sex fetish site soon. I call it HornPub”
Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. There is no HornPub, but there are jokes. "I'm launching a brass instrument sex fetish site soon. I call it HornPub" was…
“If you eat too much chorizo you’ll end up chorizontal”
"Chorizontal" (chorizo + horizontal) is a food portmanteau word that has appeared in several jokes. "'What type of land are chorizo factories built on?'…
Chorizontal (chorizo + horizontal)
"Chorizontal" (chorizo + horizontal) is a food portmanteau word that has appeared in several jokes. "'What type of land are chorizo factories built on?'…
“A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A The Chronicles of Narnia version is: "A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a…