“If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country” is a joke featured in many sports and exercise joke lists, often incorrectly attributed to comedian Steven Wright. Kevin Nealon, an actor/comedian cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1986 to 1995, used the joke as part of his act by at least 1988, when he offered this advice to beginning cross-country skiers:
’‘Start out with a small country and ski the width, not the length. Chile is a good one to start on.”
Wikipedia: Kevin Nealon
Kevin Nealon (pronounced /ˈniːlən/; born November 18, 1953) is an American actor and comedian, best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1986 to 1995, acting in several of the Happy Madison films, for playing Doug Wilson on the Showtime series Weeds, and providing the voice of the title character, Glenn Martin on Glenn Martin, DDS.
3 February 1988. St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Everyday Magazine, “Low-Key Kevin Nealon Opens Comedy Series” by Louise King, pg. 6F:
Maybe it was how he described his recent foray into cross-country skiing. His advice to the audience: ‘‘Start out with a small country and ski the width, not the length. Chile is a good one to start on.”
29 January 1990, Boston (MA) Globe, “Kevin Nealon’s casual humor prompts at least a smile or two” by Jim Sullivan, pg. 42:
And, if you’re going to take up cross-country skiing, he suggests, “Start off with a small country,” maybe one like Chile.
Google Groups: rec.humor
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Alan Silverstein)
Date: 26 Jul 91 16:34:11 GMT
Local: Fri, Jul 26 1991 10:34 am
Subject: Re: Steven Wright quotes
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
10 October 2001, The Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA), Smiley Anders column:
Thought for the Day: From Lydia Pourciau: “If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.”
Crosswalk.com
Exercise Truisms
Sunday, March 14, 2004
(...)
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
Austin (MN) Daily Herald
Kettles may provide some rules to live by
By Al Batt
Published 11:00am Tuesday, December 14, 2010
(...)
I’ve learned
1. Fools rush in and get the best seats.
2. If you’re going cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
3. Many Civil War battles were fought in national parks.
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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