The word “contagious” can sound like “c-nt ages.” A joke has a teacher asking a student for a sentence using the word “contagious.” One student says that a father observed a neighbor painting a house with a 2-inch brush, and the father said that “it will take the contagious.”
 
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made the joke popular, but the joke was re-used—mostly unchanged—during this time.
 
 
Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreak
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). The outbreak was first identified in Wuhan, Hubei, China, in December 2019, and was recognised as a pandemic by the World Health Organization (WHO) on 11 March 2020.
             
Google Groups: aus.jokes
Contagious
Jack Winterbottom
4/1/98
The teacher asks the class for a sentence containing the word ‘contagious’. Little Jenny says, ’ My little brother has measles. My Mum says measles are contagious’.
 
Little Johnny says, ‘Our neighbour had five tonnes of sand delivered and dumped on his driveway at the weekend. He was shifting it with a shovel and wheelbarrow. My dad said it would take the contagious’.
Jackwin
 
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Contagious
Gerard McBride
12/20/98
Contagious
Three kids in an English lesson have been disruptive so the teacher calls them to the front of the class to test that they have been listening. “I want you all to give me a sentence with the word contagious in it,” she says.
Jane replies, “my mother has had the ‘flu and the doctor says it was contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Paul says, “when I had the measles the Doctor said I couldn’t play with my friends as it was contagious.”
“Well,” says the teacher. “It’s very similar to Jane’s but okay.”
Billy says, “the man next door to us is painting his house with a one inch paint brush and my dad says it’s going to take the contagious.”
 
Google Groups: alt.humor
Contagious
Gerard McBride
12/24/98
Contagious
Three kids in an English lesson have been disruptive so the teacher calls them to the front of the class to test that they have been listening. “I want you all to give me a sentence with the word contagious in it,” she says.
Jane replies, “my mother has had the ‘flu and the doctor says it was contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Paul says, “when I had the measles the Doctor said I couldn’t play with my friends as it was contagious.”
“Well,” says the teacher. “It’s very similar to Jane’s but okay.”
Billy says, “the man next door to us is painting his house with a one inch paint brush and my dad says it’s going to take the contagious.”
 
Twitter 
Pope of Clintology
@BigSexyNeil
Replying to @justviolets
@VioletsCRUK “painting his fence with a 1 inch brush. My Dad laughed, and said that will take the contagious”
9:58 AM · Jul 12, 2009·Twitter Web Client
     
Urban Dictionary
Contagious
1. Something which spreads from one person or group to another with comparative ease.
2. An indication of time.
1. The H1N1 influenza virus is extremely contagious.
2. I saw a man trying to paint a house with a 4 inch brush. I will take the contagious.
#infectious#contagion#disease#virus#painting#
by sociopath9 January 22, 2010
 
Twitter
Brainrotting
@Brainrotting
“Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious.”
8:44 AM · Aug 26, 2010·TweetDeck
 
Twitter
Such
@ThatIsSuch
Use CONTAGIOUS in a sentence: it will take the CONTAGIOUS to finish painting her house with a brush. #ghettospellingbee
8:31 AM · Jun 3, 2011·Twitter for iPhone
   
Twitter
Alex Vaughan
@alex_vaughan_96
Part 4- Johnny jumps up and says, “Our neighbor is painting his house wid a two-inch brush and mi Dad says it will take the contagious.”
7:52 PM · Jul 19, 2011·Twitter Web Client
   
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Tomarse May 30, 2015
A teacher asks his students to make a sentence with the word “contagious”...
...Sally answers, “Viruses are contagious.”
 
“Very good Sally. Anybody else?”, the teacher says.
 
Ben puts up his hand, “When I hear someone laugh, I like to laugh as well, because laughter is contagious”.
 
“Thankyou Ben, that was a good example”, replies the teacher.
 
Then Timmy puts up his hand. “Yes Timmy”, asks the teacher.
 
“My neighbour was painting the outside of his house with a two inch brush, and my Dad said that it would take the contagious.”
 
Twitter
Brick top
@mick2391971
Replying to @Deb_bwr
Teacher asks class to put the word contagious in a sentence. Ron says: “The measles are contagious”. Katie says: “There is a bug going round and it’s contagious” Little Johnny says: “Our neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, dad says it will take the contagious.”
5:26 PM · Feb 24, 2020 from Baldock, England·Twitter for iPhone
   
Facebook
Jason Manford
March 19, 2020 at 9:51 AM ·
“Right class,” said the teacher. “Who can make a sentence with the word ‘contagious’?”
 
Little Johnny threw up his hand excitedly.
 
“Yes, Johnny?”
 
“My dad saw our neighbour painting his fence with a little brush, and said, ‘Blimey, that’ll take the contagious!’” #PubJokes
 
Twitter
Johan
@vermarkjohan
Teacher : Ok, What’s Your Sentence With The Word Contagious In It?
Student : Our Neighbor Is Painting His House With A 2 Inch Brush And
My Dad Says It Will Take The Contagious.
5:01 AM · Mar 26, 2020·Twitter for Android