“Marry a girl from Texas—no matter how tough things get, she’s tougher”

“There are two theories about how things happen in Washington: consensus or crisis”

“When anyone says he’s a country boy, you better put your hand on your wallet”

Teabonics (tea party + Ebonics)

“There are no accidental visits by politicians”

“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die”

FoxPAC (Fox News nickname)

Red Cajun (redneck + Cajun)

“Keep Dallas Douche”

“If you’re not a liberal at 20 you have no heart, if not a conservative at 40 you have no brain”

Idiot Board (a teleprompter)

Mecca on the Hudson

“Save the earth—it’s the only planet with chocolate”

“Load your brain before you shoot off your mouth”

“Government is the enemy until you need a friend”

Party of Paychecks (Republican party slogan)

Bumbleberry Pie (Bumble Berry Pie)

Opiniotainment (opinion + entertainment)

Opinutainment (opinion + education + entertainment)

Jumbleberry Pie (Jumble Berry Pie)

Four Corners of Deceit (government, academia, science and media)

Pulled Pork

“Mind over chatter”

“A tepid vote counts the same as a wildly enthusiastic vote”

“Opinions are like assholes—everybody’s got one”

Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap (MSNBC nickname)

Nothing But Crap (NBC nickname)

All Bullshit Channel (ABC nickname)

Floccinaucinihilipilificationism

“A banker lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back when it rains”

Fraudclosure (fraud + foreclosure)

Salami Slicing (Salami Technique; Salami Attack)

Salami Tactics

“Bankers do it with interest”

“Economists do it with models” (“Quants do it with models”)

“There’s plenty of room for all God’s creatures—right next to the mashed potatoes”

“Who Wants Jelly Donuts?” or “We Want Jelly Donuts” (WWJD)

“Who Wants Jack Daniel’s?” or “We Want Jack Daniel’s” (WWJD)

“Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry”

“I disagree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not Hitler”

National Organization for Whores (National Organization for Women nickname)

“The media report planes that crash, not planes that land safely”

“When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil”

“Low taxes are the result of low spending”

“Never get caught in bed with a dead woman or a live man”

“If you don’t like the news, go out and make some of your own”

“People will vote their pocketbooks”

Pocketbook Issue

Lettermarking

Chilada (chili + enchilada/tostada, or -chilada)

“The girl who can’t dance says the band can’t play” (Yiddish proverb)

“Nobody tell the president/Congress what number comes after a trillion”

Dollar Diplomacy

“When you get to the end zone, act like you’ve been there before”

Teanami (tea party + tsunami election)

Bread-and-Butter Issue

National Palestinian Radio (NPR or National Public Radio nickname)

“Once is happenstance; twice is coincidence; the third time it’s enemy action”

Dutch Sandwich

National Propaganda Radio (NPR or National Public Radio nickname)

Double Irish

Mancession (man + recession)

“Never argue with a man whose job depends on not being convinced”

“A moment on the lips, forever on the hips”

People Eating Tasty Animals (PETA parody/nickname)

“Vegetarian: an old Indian word for bad hunter”

“I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals, but because I hate plants”

Public Brainwashing Service (Public Broadcasting Service nickname)

“When things are bad and getting worse, keep a cookie in your purse”

“Love, peace and chicken grease” (“Love, peace and taco grease”)

“To have your head in the sand, you have to first be on your knees”

“Chicken today, feathers tomorrow”

“A liberal is a person whose interests aren’t at stake at the moment”

“In politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you”

“Would you like some cheese with that whine?”

“The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election”

Bradley Effect (Wilder Effect; Dinkins Effect)

Muffington Post (Huffington Post nickname)

“First get on, then get honor, then get honest”

“Knows where the bodies are buried” (to know inside information)

“The party in power is smug; the party out of power is insane” (Jane’s Law)

Sammy Scheme (Uncle Sam + Ponzi Scheme)

“If you took all the fools out of the Lege, it wouldn’t be a representative body”

Hot-Button Issue

Paramount Issue

Robosigning (Robosigner)

Mini-Madoff (Mini-Me + Bernard Madoff)

“Never make forecasts, especially about the future”

Hipster Express (Knowit Express buses from Brooklyn to Washington, DC nickname)

“Don’t back no losers” (“Don’t make no waves, don’t back no losers”)

Explosion Coast

Kaboom Town (Addison nickname)

“Relish today, ketchup tomorrow”

“What the French toast?”