“What’s a light-year?”/“One-third less calories than a regular year.”
A joke defines "light-year" much like a "light beer," in that "it has one-third less calories that an regular year." "Evan Davis, one of the insane contestants I…
“What’s a three-season bed?”/“One without a spring.”
A joke was printed in The Christian Science Monitor in September 1926 and widely reprinted in newspapers: "Out in the country where I spent my vacation they gave me one of those three-season…
“What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?”/“Brainstorms.”
A zombie riddle was posted on Reddit -- Zombies on May 17, 2011, taken from this rage comic of the day before: Q: What is a zombie's favorite weather?A: BRAINSTORMS. Zombies, as everyone…
“What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?”/“Snowballs.”
A snow riddle is: Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?A: Snowballs. The riddle was printed in a 1975 newspaper and a 1981 book. Other snowball riddles include “What do you…
“What’s the difference between you and a calendar?”/“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”
A Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What's the difference between you and a calendar?A: A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day. "What's the difference between you and a…
“What’s the opposite of a tsunami?”/“A microwave.”
A riddle about a microwave is: Q: What's the opposite of a tsunami?A: A microwave. "'Where in the house can you find the opposite of a tsunami? The microwave!' - Band…
“What’s the shittiest day of the week?”/“SaTURDay.”
A riddle was posted on Twitter on January 2, 2011: Q: What's the shittiest day of the week? A: Sa"TURD"ay. "What's the shittiest day of the week? SaTURDay" was posted…
“What’s white and goes up?”/“A confused snowflake.”
A winter riddle is: Q: What's white and goes up?A: A confused snowflake. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. 11 January 1977, Los Angeles (CA) Times, You sec., pg. 2, col.…
“What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis” (joke)
"Raining cats and dogs" is an old expression for a heavy rain. It does not mean a literal rain of animals, but there is a weather joke: "What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?…
“What’s a communist’s favorite unit of time?”/“Hours.”
"Hours" sounds like "ours." "What's a Soviet Russians Favourite unit of time?"/"Hours" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 25, 2018.…
“What’s the best day to fly a kite?”/“Windsday.”
"Wednesday" sometimes sounds like "Windsday," and there's a riddle: Q: What’s the best day to fly a kite?A: Windsday. "What's the best day to fly a kite?…
“When a clock battery dies, the clock records the time of its death”
A clock's dead battery records the time of its death. "It's always creepy when a clock battery dies. It's time of death is displayed in your room until you replace it" was…
“When astronauts get sick, do they feel over the weather?”
When people get sick, it's said that they are "under the weather." "When astronauts get sick, do they feel over the weather?" was posted on X/Twitter by Ultimate Dad Jokes…
“When do clocks die?”/“When their time is up.”
A clock riddle is: Q: When do clocks die?A: When their time is up. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“When do we get to cash in all this daylight we’ve been saving?”
Daylight Saving Time is not like a bank's savings account, but there are jokes. "Are we making interest on all this daylight we've been saving or can we cash some of it out? I want…
“When do you know it is time for the cows to go to sleep?”/“When it is pasture bedtime.”
"Pasture bedtime" sounds like "past your bedtime," and there are several jokes. "Jill: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? Bill: I dunno, What? Jill: It's…
“When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that”
"When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. "When does hibernation start because I am 100%…
“When does it rain money?”/“Whenever there’s some change in the weather.”
A popular weather joke is: Q: When does it rain money? A: Whenever there's some change in the weather. "When is it likely to rain money?" was cited in print in 1940. "When does…
“When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?”/“Every year!”
First comes Christmas and then comes New Year's Eve, but a joke switches this up a bit: Q: When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas Day? A: Every year! The joke has been popular since…
“When I get younger, I’m going to be a time traveller”
"When I get younger i'm going to be a Time Traveller :)" was posted on Twitter by Tony547uk (and others) on October 13, 2011. Authorship of the joke is uncertain. "When I get…