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December 21, 2016
Time/Weather

“What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?”/“Snowballs.”

A snow riddle is: Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?A: Snowballs. The riddle was printed in a 1975 newspaper and a 1981 book. Other snowball riddles include “What do you…

January 29, 2017
Time/Weather

“What’s the difference between you and a calendar?”/“A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”

A Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What's the difference between you and a calendar?A: A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day. "What's the difference between you and a…

May 8, 2017
Time/Weather

“What’s the opposite of a tsunami?”/“A microwave.”

A riddle about a microwave is: Q: What's the opposite of a tsunami?A: A microwave. "'Where in the house can you find the opposite of a tsunami? The microwave!' - Band…

December 26, 2017
Time/Weather

“What’s the shittiest day of the week?”/“SaTURDay.”

A riddle was posted on Twitter on January 2, 2011: Q: What's the shittiest day of the week? A: Sa"TURD"ay. "What's the shittiest day of the week? SaTURDay" was posted…

December 7, 2017
Time/Weather

“What’s white and goes up?”/“A confused snowflake.”

A winter riddle is: Q: What's white and goes up?A: A confused snowflake. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. 11 January 1977, Los Angeles (CA) Times, You sec., pg. 2, col.…

December 26, 2015
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Time/Weather

“What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis” (joke)

"Raining cats and dogs" is an old expression for a heavy rain. It does not mean a literal rain of animals, but there is a weather joke: "What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?…

March 5, 2019
Time/Weather

“What’s a communist’s favorite unit of time?”/“Hours.”

"Hours" sounds like "ours." "What's a Soviet Russians Favourite unit of time?"/"Hours" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 25, 2018.…

April 28, 2022
Time/Weather

“What’s the best day to fly a kite?”/“Windsday.”

"Wednesday" sometimes sounds like "Windsday," and there's a riddle: Q: What’s the best day to fly a kite?A: Windsday. "What's the best day to fly a kite?…

February 18, 2018
Time/Weather

“When a clock battery dies, the clock records the time of its death”

A clock's dead battery records the time of its death. "It's always creepy when a clock battery dies. It's time of death is displayed in your room until you replace it" was…

July 21, 2024
Time/Weather

“When astronauts get sick, do they feel over the weather?”

When people get sick, it's said that they are "under the weather." "When astronauts get sick, do they feel over the weather?" was posted on X/Twitter by Ultimate Dad Jokes…

September 3, 2017
Time/Weather

“When do clocks die?”/“When their time is up.”

A clock riddle is: Q: When do clocks die?A: When their time is up. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…

November 12, 2022
Time/Weather

“When do we get to cash in all this daylight we’ve been saving?”

Daylight Saving Time is not like a bank's savings account, but there are jokes. "Are we making interest on all this daylight we've been saving or can we cash some of it out? I want…

August 13, 2022
Time/Weather

“When do you know it is time for the cows to go to sleep?”/“When it is pasture bedtime.”

"Pasture bedtime" sounds like "past your bedtime," and there are several jokes. "Jill: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? Bill: I dunno, What? Jill: It's…

November 2, 2024
Time/Weather

“When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that”

"When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. "When does hibernation start because I am 100%…

April 26, 2015
Time/Weather

“When does it rain money?”/“Whenever there’s some change in the weather.”

A popular weather joke is: Q: When does it rain money? A: Whenever there's some change in the weather. "When is it likely to rain money?" was cited in print in 1940. "When does…

December 25, 2015
Time/Weather

“When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?”/“Every year!”

First comes Christmas and then comes New Year's Eve, but a joke switches this up a bit: Q: When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas Day? A: Every year! The joke has been popular since…

October 15, 2022
Time/Weather

“When I get younger, I’m going to be a time traveller”

"When I get younger i'm going to be a Time Traveller :)" was posted on Twitter by Tony547uk (and others) on October 13, 2011. Authorship of the joke is uncertain. "When I get…

April 13, 2026
Time/Weather

“When I was a child, we had a clock made out of stone. Those were hard times”

"Hard times" doesn't usually involve a stone clock, but there are jokes. "RT @walteroho: Hard times like a stone clock #boss my #punchline :D" was posted on X/Twitter by…

July 19, 2020
Time/Weather

“When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines”

"When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines" is a time travel joke that went viral on August 26, 2010. The joke was posted on Twitter this day by sickipediabot…

July 24, 2016
Time/Weather

“When is the best time for a dental appointment?”/“Tooth-hurty (2:30).”

A classic dentist joke is: Q: When is the best time for a dental appointment?A: Tooth-hurty (2:30 ). The "tooth-hurty"/"2:30" pun has been cited since at least October 1877,…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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