“When you said ‘friends with benefits,’ I assumed you owned a liquor store”
"When you said 'friends with benefits,' I assumed you owned a liquor store" -- or taco truck, or coffee shop -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“When you said ‘friends with benefits,’ I assumed you owned a taco truck”
"When you said 'friends with benefits,' I assumed you owned a liquor store" -- or taco truck, or coffee shop -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“When you split a dessert the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn”
When people share a restaurant dessert, they often take turns eating it. But who eats first? When does this person stop for the next person to eat? This was posted on X/Twitter by Herschel…
“When you think that all is lost, that there is no hope left, remember the lobsters in the tank at the Titanic’s restaurant”
The RMS Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk on April 15, 1912. This was a tragedy for the human passengers, but, as a joke goes, a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's restaurant tank.…
“When you think there’s no hope left, remember the lobsters in the tank at the Titanic’s restaurant”
The RMS Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk on April 15, 1912. This was a tragedy for the human passengers, but, as a joke goes, a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's restaurant tank.…
“When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?”
"When you wait for a water in a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "When we wait for a waiter in restaurant,…
“When you’re at the checkout line and they ask if you found everything, say, ‘Why, are you hiding stuff?’”
When a customer reaches a store's checkout, the customer is often asked if they found everything they were looking for. If a customer didn't find something, the store usually provides…
“Whenever a waiter asks me how I want my steak, I always say ‘free’”
Waiters ask how a diner would like a steak to be cooked, such as "rare" or "medium" or "well done." A joke on this was published by John Wagner’s Maxine comic…
“Whenever I see an iPad at a cash register, I know that I’m about to tip for something I never had to tip for before”
Many people go to a drive-thru at a place like Starbucks and are confronted with an iPad, and the question of what amount they want to tip. This was posted on X/Twitter by Bobby C on April 1, 2022,…
“Where are you celebrating the Ides of March?”/“Little Caesars!”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. Little Caesars is an American multinational chain…
“Where can you find Moses at the supermarket?”/“Eggs aisle (exile).”
"Exile" sounds like "eggs aisle," and there are jokes. "Eggs Aisle" is track 10 on Live from Space (2013), the first and only live album by American rapper Mac Miller…
“Where can you find Napoleon Bonaparte in a supermarket?”/“Eggs aisle (exile).”
"Exile" sounds like "eggs aisle," and there are jokes. "Eggs Aisle" is track 10 on Live from Space (2013), the first and only live album by American rapper Mac Miller…
“Where can you go to get a lap dance and a decent steak?”/“The New York Strip Club.”
A "New York strip steak" has nothing to do with a New York strip club (although some clubs serve the steak), but there are jokes. "When I'm in a steak house I order the NY…
“Where can you see a man-eating fish?”/“In a restaurant.”
A "man-eating fish" is quite different from a "man eating fish." There's a joke: Q: Where's the best place to see a man-eating fish?A: A seafood restaurant. "And…
“Where Chili-Pepper Lights Meets Christmas-Tree Lights” (Panna II Indian Restaurant)
Panna II is an Indian restaurant with the unusual slogan: "Where Chili-Pepper Lights Meets Christmas-Tree Lights." Don't ask. http://www.panna2.com/index.html"Where Chili-Pepper…
“Where did you find a Chinese waiter who speaks Yiddish?” (Jewish restaurant joke)
A classic Jewish deli joke involves a Chinese waiter who speaks perfect Yiddish. An amazed customer asks the owner how he managed to find such an employee. "Shhh!" says the owner.…
“Where do ants go to eat?”/“At a restaurant.”
An ant riddle is: Q: Where do ants go to eat?A: At a restaurant. The "restaur-ant" pun has been cited in print since at least 2006. Google Groups: Palace of Adult Humorant…
“Where do astronauts go to drink?”/“The spacebar.”
The "spacebar" on a keyboard doesn't serve drinks, but a "space bar" joke has been printed on many images: Q: Where do astronauts go to drink?A: The spacebar. The pun was…
“Where do baby cows eat lunch?”/“At a calf-ateria.”
A cafeteria riddle is: Q: Where do baby cows eat lunch?A: At a calf-ateria. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1991. Wikipedia: CafeteriaA cafeteria, sometimes called a canteen…
“Where do construction workers go to drink?”/“The Rebar.”
A construction riddle is: Q: Where do construction workers go to drink?A: The Rebar. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 18, 2014, and on Reddit -- Jokes on October 17, 2017. Wikipedia:…