The Big Apple
About Archives Categories Index Search
About Archives Categories Index Search

January 21, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I didn’t realize that my parents teaching me to tell the truth when I was a child…”

Entry in progress -- BP FacebookColleen WatersOctober 15, 2021 at 4:57 AM · Friday , been a good girl all week not been fb banned (yet) but most likely still on the watch list 👀😇(The…

August 2, 2013
Work/Businesses

“I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.”

"I didn't say it was your fault -- I said I was going to blame you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and T-shirts. The saying is what a…

March 10, 2020
Education/Schools

“I didn’t think my son stole from his trig teacher until I saw his room. All the sines were there”

"I never wanted to believe that my dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there” is a now-classic pun. There are math versions ("all the sines…

September 27, 2013
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I didn’t think there was a class system in the U.S.” (joke)

Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe NationVolume 2361983Pg. 388:An Oxford professor meets a former Ph.D. student and courteously inquires what he's working on these days. “l'm…

August 7, 2015
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I didn’t think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture, but now I stand corrected”

"I didn't think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture," an old joke goes, "but now I stand corrected." The joke has been told several times by television…

February 24, 2018
Education/Schools

“I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me”

A math joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on March 18, 2012: "I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me." Pun of the Day (March 19, 2012)I…

October 30, 2025
Time/Weather

“I didn’t gain an hour of sleep. I’m just up at 5:30 AM instead of 6:30 AM”

When people turn the clocks back one hour in the fall, it's often said that they get an extra hour of sleep. But they usually go to sleep on Saturday night and wake up on Sunday morning -- and…

March 1, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance exam”

Many jobs have entrance exams. This joke was posted by many people on X/Twitter and Facebook on January 30, 2022: "I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance…

July 19, 2014
Education/Schools

“I didn’t go to school just to eat my lunch”

Schools usually have a lunch break; some students qualify for free school lunches. "I didn't go to school (just) to eat lunch" is a popular saying, meaning that the speaker went to…

July 2, 2020
Food/Drink

“I didn’t know how much cookies shaped like integers cost, but I crunched the numbers”

The saying "crunch the numbers" takes on a different meaning when cookies are shaped like numbers. "My favorite activity is making number shaped cookies and crackers because i really…

February 4, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I didn’t like working at the steel plant. It smelt”

"Smelling" and "smelting" shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. This pun was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 26, 2024: "I didn’t like working at the…

December 28, 2016
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far”

A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…

March 4, 2017
Work/Businesses

“I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far”

A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…

October 16, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I disagree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not Hitler”

Jon Stewart announced his October 30, 2010 "The Rally to Restore Sanity" on Comedy Central's The Daily Show on September 16, 2010. Stewart suggested one sign: "I disagree with…

July 7, 2012
Food/Drink

“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink”

New York City-born comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971) was quoted in 1965 for the line, "I distrust camels or anybody else who don't take a drink once in a while." The camel drinking…

September 11, 2025
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsTime/Weather

“I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times”

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. To the…

September 11, 2025
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsTime/Weather

“I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button”

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. To the…

October 12, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally”

"I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally" (or "I do all my own stunts, but/just not intentionally") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…

October 12, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“I do all my own stunts, but not intentionally”

"I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally" (or "I do all my own stunts, but/just not intentionally") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…

October 12, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“I do all my own stunts, just not intentionally”

"I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally" (or "I do all my own stunts, but/just not intentionally") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "RT…

First
Previous
450 451 452 453 454
Next
Last

About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

Read more About the Website and Editor
About
Privacy Policy
RSS

© 2026 Barry Popik. All rights reserved.