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July 7, 2024
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It’s a gnocchia”

Nokia (a Finnish telecommunications, information technology company) and gnocchi (Italian dumplings) shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. "My new mobile phone is shaped like an…

July 20, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceWork/Businesses

“A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes. It’s a real money spinner”

The term "money-spinner," used in the United Kingdom and Australia, means "something that generates a continuous income." It doesn't involve the actual spinning of money,…

October 31, 2024
Work/Businesses

“A friend of mine is always going on about photography jokes. You just can’t shutter up”

"Shutter" sounds like "shut her," and there are photography jokes. "You can lead a wife to a camera, but you can't shutter up" was posted on the newsgroup…

October 15, 2025
Sports/Games

“A friend of mine just lost a game of Scrabble. It didn’t look good from the word go”

"From the word go" is an expression that means "from the start." It usually doesn't involve the literal word "go," but there are Scrabble jokes. "Attended…

July 20, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceWork/Businesses

“A friend of mine takes his cash straight from the ATM and puts it in the washing machine. It’s a real money spinner”

The term "money-spinner," used in the United Kingdom and Australia, means "something that generates a continuous income." It doesn't involve the actual spinning of money,…

April 25, 2017
Food/Drink

“A friend of wine is a friend of mine”

"A/Any friend of wine is a friend of mine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "Any friend of wine is a friend of mine!" was posted on Twitter on October 23,…

June 8, 2018
Work/Businesses

“A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn”

"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…

November 19, 2021
Food/Drink

“A friend told me that all apples were yellow… I was like, ‘that’s bananas’”

"A friend told me that all apples were yellow... I was like, 'that's bananas'" is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 12, 2016. "Bananas" can…

January 12, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“A friend tweeted ‘what’s a simile?’ I clicked the ‘like’ button”

A "like" button on the internet has nothing to do with a simile (a statement that uses "like" or "as"), but there are jokes. This was posted on Sickipedia on January…

October 19, 2024
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A friend wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers”

"Pointer" is a medium-sized breed of pointing dog, and the "pointer" name is used in puns. "A friend wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers"…

December 12, 2012
Work/Businesses

“A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship”

Colgate Hoyt (1849-1922), an American businessman, said in 1901: "Business founded on friendship is friendship endangered, but friendship founded on business is friendship assured." John…

January 11, 2026
Food/Drink

“A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things”

Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: Frittata Frittata is an egg-based dish that has been common since ancient Roman times and is described in De re coquinaria by Apicius. In modern versions, it is…

March 22, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A frog walks in to a bar and orders a ‘Wodka’...” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A frog version is: "A frog walks in to a bar and orders a 'Wodka.'…

December 28, 2023
Food/Drink

“A fruit farmer told me: ‘I eat what fruit I can, and what I can’t I can’”

A pun on the two meanings of the word "can" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on April 11, 2023: "A fruit farmer told me: 'I eat what fruit I can, and what I can't I…

January 8, 2017
Food/Drink

“A fruit probably wouldn’t travel to Australia, but a veggie might”

Vegemite (an Australian food spread made from leftover brewers' yeast extract) has had several "veggie might" puns. This was posted to Reddit -- Jokes on January 9, 2017: "A…

June 19, 2013
Sports/Games

“A full mind is an empty bat” (baseball adage)

Baseball players hitting in the batter's box often think too much, resulting in poor performance." "A full mind is an empty bat" is a saying that has been credited to baseball…

October 4, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach”

President Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882-1945) gave a campaign speech at the Brooklyn Academy of Music on November 1, 1940: "It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans…

June 26, 2017
Work/Businesses

“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand”

"A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand" is a popular "dad joke." "Me: 'How about one night stand?' She: 'That'll be $199…

December 10, 2009
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth” (Kinsley gaffe)

"A 'gaffe' is the opposite of a 'lie': It's when a politician tells the truth," wrote political pundit Michael Kinsley in 1984. It's become known as…

July 23, 2013
Sports/Games

“A game of inches” (sports saying)

The expression "game of inches" means that there is a very close line between winning and losing. "Football is a game of inches, not yards" was cited in print in November 1941,…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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