“After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging”
Semaphore has led to several puns about "flagging." "I tried semaphore as a twitter alternative today. But after an hour or so I was flagging" was posted on Twitter by John V…
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF”
"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, buttons and T-shirts. The "WTF" stands for…
“After playing guitar for years, I thought I could learn to play the piano…”
"@td644: 'A piano is the easiest instrument to pick up.' @ProtomanX97: 'BRB, going to pick up a piano'" was posted on Twitter by QuoteableClusterduck on August 28,…
“After six months of listening to people talk with masks on…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. The masks often made it harder to communicate. "After six months of listening to people talk with masks on…
“After spending any amount of time on social media you can understand…”
Many people on social media are not too bright. "Take a look at trending topics on Twitter and you'll understand why they have to write 'do not eat' on dry silica packets"…
“After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. However, many people who wore the masks did not cover their nose and/or their mouth with the mask. "After…
“After whiskey, driving risky”
"After whisk(e)y, driving risky" (or "After drinking whisk(e)y, driving is risky") is road sign that has been printed on many images. The sign has been popular in Central Asia.…
“After whisky, driving risky”
"After whisk(e)y, driving risky" (or "After drinking whisk(e)y, driving is risky") is road sign that has been printed on many images. The sign has been popular in Central Asia.…
“After winning, I threw the ball into the crowd. Apparently, that’s unacceptable in bowling”
"After winning the match, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like they do on TV. Apparently, it's unacceptable in bowling" is a jocular one-line sports saying that was…
“After work, I volunteer to help blind children” (joke)
"In my spare time I help blind children. I mean the verb, not the adjective" is a dark joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 9, 2016. "After work, I volunteer to help blind…
“Age and glasses of wine should never be counted”
"Age and glasses of wine should never be counted" is a popular wine saying that has been printed on many gift items. ""Anni e bicchieri di vino non si contano mai."(Age and…
“Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese”
"Age doesn't matter unless you're a cheese" is a jocular one-line saying that has appeared in many quotation collections, always credited to American actress Billie Burke…
“Aging Tips, #37: If you have to make an ‘augh’ sound doing it, it counts as exercise”
Many old people make sounds as they exercise. This was posted on Facebook by "im not right in the head.com" on May 23, 2024: "Aging Tips, #37: If you have to make an 'augh'…
“Agree with me on 9 of 12 issues, vote for me. Agree on 12 of 12, see a psychiatrist” (Ed Koch)
New York Mayor Ed Koch (1924-2013) said that no one should be expected to agree with him on everything, but people should vote for him if they agreed with his positions on most things. "If you…
“Agriculture majors who become farmers always find a job in their field”
Many college graduates can't find jobs in what they majored in. "In this economy even farmers are having a hard time getting a job in their field" was posted on Twitter on May 21,…
“Ah, nothing like the smell of freshly brewed magical psychotic rage stabilizer in the morning”
"Ah, nothing like the smell of freshly brewed magical psychotic rage stabilizer in the morning" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on several images. The line is a take-off…
“Ahmed walks into Abbar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke version with Islamic names is: "Ahmed walks into Abbar..."…
“Aim so high that others will think you’re crazy”
"Aim so high that others will think you're crazy" is a motivational saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 17, 2016. "Reach…
“Ain’t no fuckin way that whole Siberian Orchestra is trans”
Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO) is an American rock band. "Trans-Siberian" usually means "across Siberia," but there are jokes where "trans" means…
“Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone”
"Ain't No Sunshine" (1971) is a song by Bill Withers (1938-2020). The lyric "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" is joked as ""Ain't no sunshine…