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December 5, 2012
Education/Schools

“If you want to get laid, go to college; if you want an education, go to the library”

"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library" is a popular quotation credited to the musician Frank Zappa (1940-1993). Zappa loved libraries, but…

January 21, 2013
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksChoose the Life: Exploring a Faith that Embraces DiscipleshipBy Bill HullGrand Rapids, MI: Baker Books2004Pg. 107:As the African proverb tells us, “If you…

December 2, 2015
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If you want to have rabbit stew, first catch the rabbit”

"If you want to have rabbit stew, first catch the rabbit" (or, "first catch your hare") is an old saying of uncertain origins. The proverb was almost certainly infuenced from…

April 15, 2013
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you want to hide something, put it in writing”

"If you want to hide something (from a Bahamian), put it in writing" has been credited to Dr. Cleveland W. Eneas (1915-1995). It is not known when he first said it, but the saying implies…

October 15, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck”

"If you're trying to impress me with your car/vehicle, it better be a food/taco truck" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. It's uncertain who coined the…

October 13, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a taco truck”

"If you're trying to impress me with your car/vehicle, it better be a food/taco truck" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. It's uncertain who coined the…

October 13, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“If you want to impress me with your truck, it better be a taco truck”

"If you're trying to impress me with your car/vehicle, it better be a food/taco truck" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. It's uncertain who coined the…

September 30, 2025
Sports/Games

“If you want to join our Scrabble club, I can put in a good word for you”

To "put in a good word" for someone means to recommend them. The expression has been used in a Scrabble joke. "I need some help joining this exclusive Scrabble club, if any of you…

August 21, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you want to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill, don’t elect them”

"If you want to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill, don't elect them President" was posted on Twitter by God on February 15, 2018. "If you want to keep…

December 26, 2022
Food/Drink

“If you want to know how old you really feel, stop drinking coffee and taking ibuprofen…”

"If you want to know how old you really feel, stop drinking coffee and taking ibuprofen... and then wait" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "you want to know how…

May 30, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you want to know how well the medical industry understands health, look at the food they serve”

"If you want to know how well the medical industry understands health, just look at the food they serve in hospitals" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Hospital food is…

November 3, 2012
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at some of the people he gives it to”

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at some of the people he gives it to" is a popular saying that has been credited to many people, most frequently -- and incorrectly --…

October 7, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes”

"If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The meme was posted on Facebook by…

September 15, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you want to know who your tribe is, speak your truth and see who sticks around. Those are yours”

"If you want to know who your tribe is, speak your truth and see who sticks around. Those are yours" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Note to self: If you want to…

December 16, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“If you want to look sophisticated at a restaurant, ask the waiter for a william instead of a bill”

A joke has it that a fancy restaurant doesn't give you a "bill," it gives you a "william." "At the end of meals in formal restaurants remember to ask for the William.…

April 17, 2018
Food/Drink

“If you want to lose weight, just fall in love with the wrong person”

"If you want to lose weight, you don't need to exercise or diet. Just fall in love with the wrong person" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "If you want to…

March 23, 2013
Work/Businesses

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” (“Man plans, God laughs”)

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans" is a saying that's from the Yiddish proverb Der mentsh trakht und Gott lakht ("Man plans and God laughs"). Although the…

March 22, 2022
Food/Drink

“If you want to make memories, add some tequila”

"If you want to make (some) memories, add (some) tequila" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Authorship is unknown. "If you want to make memories, add some…

March 22, 2022
Food/Drink

“If you want to make memories, add tequila”

"If you want to make (some) memories, add (some) tequila" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Authorship is unknown. "If you want to make memories, add some…

March 22, 2022
Food/Drink

“If you want to make some memories, add some tequila”

"If you want to make (some) memories, add (some) tequila" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Authorship is unknown. "If you want to make memories, add some…

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About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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