“A neutron walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.” The popular "neutron walks into a bar..." bar joke has been…
“A new broom sweeps clean, but an old broom knows all the corners”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wiktionary: a new broom sweeps cleanProverba new broom sweeps clean1. New management will often make radical changes.…
“A new grocery store specializing in smaller portions for weight loss is opening. It’s called Half Foods”
Whole Foods Market can be expensive, so some people joke that they shop at Half Foods. "I grew up so poor we had to do all our grocery shopping at Half Foods. #jokesiwroteforsteveharvey"…
“A new restaurant in my neighborhood offers a tasting menu, but it just tasted like paper to me”
When a restaurant says to try the new tasting menu, it's implied to try the food on the menu, not the actual menu. The actual menu tastes like paper. "Or come into @PattyBolands early to…
“A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitterdonni saphire@donniA new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages4:09 AM - 31 Mar 2014 Twittermuliana jittermeier@jittermeierstudies have…
“A new study has shown that the best time to brew a pot of coffee is right freaking now”
"A new study has shown that the best time to brew a pot of coffee is right freaking now" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "A new study has shown that the…
“A new study shows that the most expensive vehicle to operate is a shopping cart”
"A new study shows that the most expensive vehicle to operate is a shopping cart" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Marriage soon brings to a man the…
“A new supermarket opened near my house…” (joke)
A long joke begins that a new supermarket has opened near the speaker. The supermarket has a variety of smells and sounds -- an automatic water mister for the produce, the sound of cows mooing at…
“A new year is unfolding—like a blossom with petals curled tightly, concealing the beauty within”
"A new year is unfolding -- like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within" is a new year's saying that has been printed on many images. The full passage is:…
“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other”
"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other" is a saying that has been printed on many images.The one-line saying has never been attributed to any…
“A New Yorker is someone who longs for New York”
The blog Jeremiah's Vanishing New York, written by the pseudonymous author Jeremiah Moss, posted on June 19, 2008: "In the end, the NYPL host quoted Milan Kundera as saying, 'A…
“A New Yorker learns to drive by yelling ‘taxi’”
Many New Yorkers do not own cars, but prefer to take a taxi or the subway, or to just walk. A joke is that a New Yorker learns how to drive by raising an arm and hailing a taxi. The joke…
“A newspaper is a daily miracle”
The daily newspaper has frequently been called "a daily miracle." Baltimore Sun editor Charles H. Grasty (1863-1924) called the modern metropolitan newspaper "a daily miracle"…
“A nice cold drink and an ice cold drink is the same sentence with the space in different places”
Did someone say "a nice cold drink" or "an ice cold drink"? "'I had a nice, cold drink.' 'I had an ice-cold drink'" was printed in a 1915 book.…
“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore”
"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore" is a bit of monetary nonsense that has been credited to New York Yankee baseball great Yogi Berra since at least 1979. A nickel (five cents) is…
“A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A political version is: "A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar…
“A non sequitur walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A non sequitur version is: "A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even…
“A nonrenewable natural resource walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A science joke is: "A non-renewable natural resource walks into a bar and orders a…
“A nose walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A nose version is: "A nose walks into a bar and asks for a pint. The barman says,…
“A nuclear war can ruin your whole day”
"One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day" and "Nuclear war can spoil your whole day" are anti-nuclear sayings that have been printed on many images. "Tom Carpenter, a…