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January 16, 2018
Food/Drink

“I may be fat, but I identify as a skinny person. I’m trans-fat”

"Trans fat" is different from "transsexual," but there have been several jokes. “I may be skinny but I identify as transfat" was posted on Twitter on November 27, 2014.…

May 12, 2012
Food/Drink

“I may be fat, but you’re ugly and I can diet”

"I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet" is a humorous saying that's been printed on gift items such as T-shirts, buttons and coffee mugs. The saying is similar to an…

May 27, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I may be quarantined, but my boobs have never been freer”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines. Many women did not wear bras. "I may be quarantined, but my boobs have never been freer" is a saying that has been printed…

January 6, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I may be ugly, but I fuck like the government”

"I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like the government" (or "I may be ugly, but I fuck like the government") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I may…

May 18, 2023
Food/Drink

“I may forget a lot of things, but drinking coffee will never be one of them”

"I may forget a lot of things, but drinking coffee will never be one of them" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "These days I forget a lot of things but…

May 29, 2021
Food/Drink

“I may look like a potato now, but one day I’ll turn into fries and you’ll all want me then”

"I may look like a potato now, but one day I'll turn into fries and you'll all want me then" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship probably comes…

June 19, 2017
Work/Businesses

“I may love to shop, but I’m not buying your bullshit”

"I may love to shop, but I'm not buying your bullshit" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by JAY STRUT‏ on May 1,…

November 6, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I may not be a 10 on the beach, but I’m a solid 8 at Walmart”

"I may/might not be a 10 on the beach, but I'm a solid 8 at Walmart" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The people who shop at Walmart are usually not highly…

February 25, 2026
Food/DrinkRadio/Television

“I may not be a great cook, but I did just put a towel over my shoulder like I’m on the Food Network”

A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…

May 31, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like the government”

"I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like the government" (or "I may be ugly, but I fuck like the government") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I may…

November 25, 2025
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresWork/Businesses

“I may not be perfect or very good or adequate, but I return shopping carts to their appropriate location”

Returning a shopping cart feels like doing a civic duty, displaying a person's good character. This was posted on X/Twitter by Han Solo Cup on November 9, 2023, and it received over 1,100…

October 15, 2025
Food/Drink

“I may not be totally sane, but at least all my personalities agree that coffee is amazing”

"I may not be totally sane, but at least all (of) my personalities agree that coffee is amazing" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images "It may not be…

October 15, 2025
Food/Drink

“I may not be totally sane, but at least all of my personalities agree that coffee is amazing”

"I may not be totally sane, but at least all (of) my personalities agree that coffee is amazing" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images "It may not be…

October 1, 2025
Food/Drink

“I may not have a hot body, but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken, so who’s the real winner here”

"You may have a hot body, but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken, so who's the real winner here" (or "I may not have a hot body, but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken, so…

July 31, 2022
Food/Drink

“I mean, yeah, I could probably live without coffee, but…”

"I mean, yeah, I could probably live without coffee, but I wouldn’t wish that science experiment on anyone" was posted on Twitter by The Real American Dadass on May 13, 2018. The…

July 3, 2019
Food/Drink

“I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to sleep with me…” (joke)

“'This may be the wine talking' – Drunk Ventriloquist" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Steve on August 18, 2014. "I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to…

August 2, 2016
Sports/Games

“I met a girl at a soccer game. I think she’s a keeper”

"She's a keeper" means that a person has found a good person for a partnership. "Keeper" in soccer (association football) means a "goalkeeper." "#manrules if…

July 12, 2016
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I met my ex-wife at the gym. We didn’t work out”

There's a difference between "workout" and "work out," and there's a pun: "I met my ex-wife down at the gym. We didn't workout." The joke was cited on…

June 13, 2019
Education/Schools

“I met my girlfriend at an African language class. We just clicked!”

The African Khoisan languages share click consonants. "Met a lovely lady at my Khoisan language class. Amazing how we just clicked" was posted on Twitter by Tom Fox on October 24, 2014.…

December 2, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“I met my wife on the net. We were bad trapeze artists”

The internet is often called simply "the net." A joke by Milton Jones was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2012: "My parents met on the net. They were both rubbish trapeze…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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