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March 9, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull?” (joke)

"What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?" is an old joke told by many musicians. The answer is that the bull has horns in front and an asshole in the back. The joke…

October 23, 2016
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the difference between new age and pagan?” (joke)

A joke about new age and pagan (music and other things) is: Q: What's the difference between new age and pagan?A: About $500 a weekend. That is, it's essentially the same stuff, but…

March 12, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the difference between the circus and the Rockettes?” (joke)

The Rockettes dance company is known for performances at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall. A Rockettes trademark is a chorus line of eye-high leg-kicking performers. A popular dirty joke…

December 10, 2014
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the last thing the drummer said before getting kicked out of the band?” (joke)

A popular (unflattering) joke about drummers is: Q: What was the last thing the drummer said before getting kicked out of the band?A: Let's try one of my songs. The joke has been cited in…

July 18, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the loudest pet?”/“A trumpet.”

A trumpet riddle is: Q: What's the loudest pet?A: A trumpet. The joke was printed in the book Over 1500 Fantastic Jokes (2002) by Guy Campbell and Mark Devins. Google Books Over 1500 Fantastic…

July 6, 2016
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the most musical part of a turkey?”/“The drumstick.”

A turkey riddle is: Q: What's the most musical part of a turkey?A.: The drumstick. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google Groups: alt.teens.penpalsA Question I have…

March 8, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the range of a tuba?” (joke)

A tuba has a limited musical range, so a popular tuba joke goes: Q. What's the range of a tuba? A. Twenty yards, if you've got a good arm. The joke has been cited in print since at least…

March 15, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?” (joke)

Many jokes are told about drummers and their alleged lack of timing. One popular drummer joke is: Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A: They both perceive time as an…

June 1, 2016
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s worse than 9/11?”/“311.”

Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center are often in questionable taste, but a frequent joke is told about the American rock band 311 (from Omaha, Nebraska):…

January 8, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s worse than spiders on your piano?”/“Crabs on your organ.”

The organ has been the subject of many sex jokes. One popular pun is: Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano?A: Crabs on your organ. "Q: Whats worse than lobsters on your piano? A:…

May 11, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?”/“Beef-flat.”

"Beef-flat" sounds like "B-flat." "'The tune that old cow died on,' must have been written in beef flat. -- Whitehall Times." was printed in the Record of…

May 11, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When a butcher sings in the bathtub it’s probably beef-flat”

"Beef-flat" sounds like "B-flat." "'The tune that old cow died on,' must have been written in beef flat. -- Whitehall Times." was printed in the Record of…

July 13, 2021
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When a drummer comes out of retirement, there are repercussions”

Drums are percussion instruments, and there are "repercussions" jokes. "When Stan went against his wife's wishes and came out of retirement to tour as a drummer again, he knew…

March 4, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye”

"When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye" is a pun that has been printed on sevveral images. A "Jumble" puzzle answer was published in…

December 12, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When emotions are too strong for words, sing. When emotions are too strong for song, dance”

There's an adage in the musical theater about when it's time for a song and when it's time for a dance. Authorship of the saying is unknown. "When you don't have the words…

December 4, 2024
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When ever I have a problem, I just sing. Then I know my voice is a lot worse then my problem”

Many people turn to music and sing to relieve stress. However, many of these people cannot sing. "When ever I have a Problem, I just sing. Then I know my voice is a lot worse then my…

September 16, 2025
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water”

"When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask(s) for water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on man yimages. Many people play favorite songs over and over,…

September 16, 2025
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and asks for water”

"When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask(s) for water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on man yimages. Many people play favorite songs over and over,…

October 24, 2018
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums”

A "single" man doesn't necessarily listen to single songs, but there are jokes. "When I was a single man, I had lots of free time. Then I started listening to whole albums, and…

December 4, 2024
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“When I’m sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems”

Many people turn to music and sing to relieve stress. However, many of these people cannot sing. "When ever I have a Problem, I just sing. Then I know my voice is a lot worse then my…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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