“What’s the difference between a viola and a coffin?” (joke)
A popular viola riddle is: Q: What's the difference between a viola and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google…
“What’s the difference between a violinist and a dog?”/“The dog knows when to stop scratching.”
A riddle has been told about a violist (someone who plays the viola), a violinist (someone who plays the violin) and a DJ. The violist version was printed in the Gasbag (University of Michigan…
“What’s the difference between a violist and a dog?”/“The dog knows when to stop scratching.”
A riddle has been told about a violist (someone who plays the viola), a violinist (someone who plays the violin) and a DJ. The violist version was printed in the Gasbag (University of Michigan…
“What’s the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?” (joke)
A popular dirty joke told by many musicians is: Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?A: A dressmaker tucks up frills. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“What’s the difference between an actress and a hooker?” (joke)
New York City-born film producer Harvey Weinstein had a "casting couch" scandal in 2017. A joke was posted on Twitter on October 11, 2017: Q: What's the difference between an actress…
“What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull?” (joke)
"What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?" is an old joke told by many musicians. The answer is that the bull has horns in front and an asshole in the back. The joke…
“What’s the difference between new age and pagan?” (joke)
A joke about new age and pagan (music and other things) is: Q: What's the difference between new age and pagan?A: About $500 a weekend. That is, it's essentially the same stuff, but…
“What’s the difference between the circus and the Rockettes?” (joke)
The Rockettes dance company is known for performances at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall. A Rockettes trademark is a chorus line of eye-high leg-kicking performers. A popular dirty joke…
“What’s the last thing the drummer said before getting kicked out of the band?” (joke)
A popular (unflattering) joke about drummers is: Q: What was the last thing the drummer said before getting kicked out of the band?A: Let's try one of my songs. The joke has been cited in…
“What’s the loudest pet?”/“A trumpet.”
A trumpet riddle is: Q: What's the loudest pet?A: A trumpet. The joke was printed in the book Over 1500 Fantastic Jokes (2002) by Guy Campbell and Mark Devins. Google Books Over 1500 Fantastic…
“What’s the most musical part of a turkey?”/“The drumstick.”
A turkey riddle is: Q: What's the most musical part of a turkey?A.: The drumstick. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google Groups: alt.teens.penpalsA Question I have…
“What’s the range of a tuba?” (joke)
A tuba has a limited musical range, so a popular tuba joke goes: Q. What's the range of a tuba? A. Twenty yards, if you've got a good arm. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“What’s the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?” (joke)
Many jokes are told about drummers and their alleged lack of timing. One popular drummer joke is: Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A: They both perceive time as an…
“What’s worse than 9/11?”/“311.”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center are often in questionable taste, but a frequent joke is told about the American rock band 311 (from Omaha, Nebraska):…
“What’s worse than spiders on your piano?”/“Crabs on your organ.”
The organ has been the subject of many sex jokes. One popular pun is: Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano?A: Crabs on your organ. "Q: Whats worse than lobsters on your piano? A:…
“What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?”/“Beef-flat.”
"Beef-flat" sounds like "B-flat." "'The tune that old cow died on,' must have been written in beef flat. -- Whitehall Times." was printed in the Record of…
“When a butcher sings in the bathtub it’s probably beef-flat”
"Beef-flat" sounds like "B-flat." "'The tune that old cow died on,' must have been written in beef flat. -- Whitehall Times." was printed in the Record of…
“When a drummer comes out of retirement, there are repercussions”
Drums are percussion instruments, and there are "repercussions" jokes. "When Stan went against his wife's wishes and came out of retirement to tour as a drummer again, he knew…
“When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye”
"When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye" is a pun that has been printed on sevveral images. A "Jumble" puzzle answer was published in…
“When emotions are too strong for words, sing. When emotions are too strong for song, dance”
There's an adage in the musical theater about when it's time for a song and when it's time for a dance. Authorship of the saying is unknown. "When you don't have the words…