“Capitalist hell or Communist hell” (joke)
A popular joke about "Capitalist hell vs. Communist hell" was told by a Polish newspaper in 1957. The joke was often told about the Soviet Union and is still told when citizens of a…
“Cataract is the third biggest cause of blindness. Religion and politics remain the first two”
"Cataract is the third biggest cause of blindness. Religion and politics remain the first two" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cataract is the third biggest cause…
“Caution: In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned” (bumper sticker)
"Caution: In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: Rapture The Rapture is an eschatological…
“Caution: In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned” (bumper sticker)
"Caution: In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: Rapture The Rapture is an eschatological…
“Celebrate Presidents’ Day by making a promise you have no intentions of keeping!”
A joke about Presidents' Day is a reminder that presidents make campaign promises that they seldom keep. "Happy Presidents Day... Celebrate Presidents Day by making a promise you have no…
“Celebrate your freedom this 4th of July by stopping by a government checkpoint”
Governments often have traffic checkpoints, where drunk driving can be checked. Some of these checkpoints operate on holidays, such as July 4th (Independence Day). "Celebrate your freedom this…
“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it”
"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it" is a quotation often attributed to Mark Twain (1835-1910), but he never said it. The…
“Censorship is the hallmark of neoliberalism”
Many people have pointed out that neoliberals advocate censorship. "'PC' censorship is a symptom of neoliberalism, not progressivism itself" was posted on Twitter by…
“Censorship is the life blood of neoliberalism”
Many people have pointed out that neoliberals advocate censorship. "'PC' censorship is a symptom of neoliberalism, not progressivism itself" was posted on Twitter by…
“Change doesn’t come from Washington; change comes to Washington”
Presidential nominee Barack Obama said in his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention on August 28, 2008: "You understand that in this election the greatest risk we could take…
“Children born 9 months from now should be referred to as ‘children of the quarn’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to quarantines, and many people speculated that there would be a baby boom nine months later. "Children of the Quarn" -- a pun on the American…
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing”
The Internal Revenue Service allows for a child deduction on personal income taxes. A popular joke is: "Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing." "Children are…
“Children, if you are tired, keep going; if you want to taste freedom, keep going”
Abolitionist Harriet Tubman (1822-1913) is frequently credited for the admonition to escaped slaves traveling in the Underground Railroad: "Children, if you are tired. keep going. If you are…
“Chiron was a half human/half horse doctor, which made him the Centaur for Disease Control”
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is a national public health institute. The Greek mythological figure of Chiron as the "Centaur of Disease Control" is a joke on the…
“Chiropractors are technically crack addicts”
A joke has it that chiropractors are "crack" addicts/dealers. "Chiropractors are like crack dealers. Feels good til it wears off and I'm making another appointment..." was…
“Chiropractors are technically crack dealers”
A joke has it that chiropractors are "crack" addicts/dealers. "Chiropractors are like crack dealers. Feels good til it wears off and I'm making another appointment..." was…
“Churches and the casinos are closed. When heaven and hell both agree on something…it’s serious”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic wasn’t taken seriously by some. “People keep asking me, ’Is COVID-19 REALLY that serious?’ Listen y’all, the casinos and churches are closed. When…
“Civil engineering implies the existence of criminal engineering”
"Civil engineering" is professional engineering discipline, but there is no "criminal engineering" discipline. "if there is a BE in civil engineering, there should also be…
“Civil servant missile—it doesn’t work and it can’t be fired”
A joke has been told in several countries (United Kingdom, Canada, India and the United States) about the new "civil servant" missile -- "It doesn't work and it can't be…
“Civil War jokes? I General Lee don’t find them funny”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…