“What do you call two pints of strict rules?”/“A quart of law.”
"A court of law" shouldn't be confused with "a quart of law." The western television series The Texan aired the episode "A Quart of Law" on January 12, 1959.…
“What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?”/“No more jokes about the profit.”
A capitalism riddle is: Q: What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?A: No more jokes about the profit. The pun is on the words "profit" and "prophet." The riddle was…
“What do you get when an cross an elephant with a RINO?” (joke)
A joke cited in print from at least 1973 is: Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino.A. An elephino. (Hell-if-I-know -- ed.) The joke is also told with RINO (Republican In Name…
“What do you get when you ask a politician for the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth?”
"Do you solemnly swear or affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" is a sworn oath. Politicians are often said to have a problem…
“What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?”/“Another lawyer.”
A lawyer joke is: Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?A: Another lawyer. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1989, when it was published in the Chicago…
“What do you get when you cross a police dog with a skunk?”/“Law & odor.”
A "law and order" pun is: Q: What do you get when you cross a police dog with a skunk?A: Law & odor. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. 12 January 1996, The News…
“What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?” (lawyer joke)
The Italian mafia boss Don Corleone spoke the following line in Mario Puzo's novel The Godfather (1969, later made into a 1972 film): "He's a businessman. I'll make him an offer…
“What do you get when you put guacamole on a BLT?”/“An LGBT.” (Gay BLT)
BLT and LGBT aren't related terms, but there's a joke: Q: What do you get when you put guacamole on a BLT?A: An LGBT. "Would that be a gay BLT that only likes other BLT's?"…
“What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand? (lawyer joke)
One of the most popular of lawyer jokes is: Q. What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?A. Not enough sand. The joke has been told since at least the mid-1980s. Other…
“What do you say to a mother of members of the military?”/“Thank you for your cervix.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Long Beach (CA) Post AUG 4 2016 5:56 PMA Hash From the Past: Running Club Serves Up Beer, History and Playful DebaucheryJason RUiz(...)They’re witty—Adam from West Los…
“What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners” (lawyer joke)
The drowning lawyer (or lawyers) joke has been one of the most popular of lawyer jokes. THe following joke has been cited in print since at least 1994: Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?A:…
“What does a Democrat have to do to get arrested in this country?”
"WHAT DOES A POLITICIAN HAVE TO DO TO GET ARRESTED IN THIS COUNTRY?" (shown on an image) was posted on X/Twitter by Sheri Unfiltered™ on January 1, 2026, and this received over 12,000…
“What does a dyslexic racist hate the most?”/“Gingers.”
"When I first discovered anti Ginger sentiment in the UK I thought maybe they were just dyslexic racists... #thingsithinkaboutwhenimhomesick" was posted on Twitter by "THAT BEING…
“What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything it wants”
"What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything/Whatever it wants" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed in many images, usually with a picture of Cuban…
“What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Whatever it wants”
"What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything/Whatever it wants" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed in many images, usually with a picture of Cuban…
“What does a government do, once it has disarmed its populace? Anything it wants”
"What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything/Whatever it wants" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed in many images, usually with a picture of Cuban…
“What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?”/“Taller.”
Some people think that lawyer are "dicks," and there's a joke: Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?A: He gets taller. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least…
“What does a politician do after he dies?”/“He lies still.”
Lawyers have a reputation for stretching the truth (lying). An old joke has it that when a lawyer goes to bed, he lies on his right side and then he lies on his left side, and when he dies he lies…
“What does a politician have to do to get arrested in this country?”
"WHAT DOES A POLITICIAN HAVE TO DO TO GET ARRESTED IN THIS COUNTRY?" (shown on an image) was posted on X/Twitter by Sheri Unfiltered™ on January 1, 2026, and this received over 12,000…
“What does the military use acid for?”/“To neutralize the enemy base.”
A chemistry joke is: Q: What does the military use acid for?A: To neutralize the enemy base. The military riddle was posted on Twitter on July 28, 2016. TwitterPuns @TheFunnyWorIdDead…