“What did socialists use before candles? Electricity” (joke)
A popular joke is told about a failed economic state: Q: What did socialists use before candles?A. Electricity. The "What did we use before candles?" joke dates to at least 1964, when it…
“What did the penguin’s lawyer say?”/“Your honor, my client is CLEARLY not a flight risk.”
At a bail hearing, one concern is if the defendant is a "flight risk" -- that is, the risk of leaving the jurisdiction and not showing up for trial. "Flight risk" doesn't…
“What did the right knee say to the left knee?”/“Hi, felony!”
"Felony" sounds a bit like "fellow knee" or "fella knee." "What did the right knee say to the left knee? Hi...felony!" was posted on Twitter by Justin on…
“What difference does it make?”
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was questioned by Congress on January 13, 2013 about the 2012 attack on the U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi. She was asked by Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI)…
“What do a lawyer and a sperm cell have in common?” (lawyer joke)
A popular joke has been told about lawyers since at least 1993: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?A; A sperm has a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.…
“What do democracy and football have in common?”/“Adding the word ‘American’ changes the meaning.”
"What does democracy and football have in common? Adding the word American completely changes the meaning" is a riddle that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 5, 2020. The joke was…
“What do judges like to snack on?”/“Trial mix.”
"Trail mix" is not spelled as "trial mix," but there are jokes. "What do lawyers snack on in court? Trial mix" was posted on Twitter by Jim Davies on April 30, 2010.…
“What do juries eat when on break?”/“Trial mix.”
"Trail mix" is not spelled as "trial mix," but there are jokes. "What do lawyers snack on in court? Trial mix" was posted on Twitter by Jim Davies on April 30, 2010.…
“What do lawyers do after they die?”/“They lie still.”
Lawyers have a reputation for stretching the truth (lying). An old joke has it that when a lawyer goes to bed, he lies on his right side and then he lies on his left side, and when he dies he lies…
“What do lawyers eat for a snack?”/“Trial mix.”
"Trail mix" is not spelled as "trial mix," but there are jokes. "What do lawyers snack on in court? Trial mix" was posted on Twitter by Jim Davies on April 30, 2010.…
“What do lawyers wear to court?”/“Law suits.”
A popular riddle about lawyers is: Q: What do lawyers wear to court?A: Law suits. The pun/joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google News Archive12 December 1998, Gadsden (SC) Times,…
“What do non-binary people drink?”/“Gender fluids.”
"Gender fluid" is not a drink, but there are jokes. "Do trans people drink gender fluid?" was posted on Facebook by Myllo onn June 25, 2020. "What do gays drink when…
“What do politicians and porn stars have in common?”/“They’re experts at switching positions.”
A riddle about politics is: Q: What do politicians and porn actors have in common?A: Both are experts at switching positions in front of a camera. "@SexCigarsBooze: What do politicians &…
“What do pro-vaxxers and anti-vaxxers have in common?”/“They’ll never be fully vaccinated.”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines, and these vaccines required boosters after every few months. A popular comment is that the vaxxed and unvaxxed both have one thing in…
“What do sailors use to blow their noses?”/“Anchor-chiefs.”
"Handkerchief" shouldn't be confused with "anchor chief," but there are jokes. "What do sailor's use to blow their noses? Anchor-chiefs" was posted on…
“What do the teeth pay their lawyer?”/“Retainer fee!”
Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…
“What do the vaccinated and unvaccinated have in common?”/“Neither will ever be fully vaccinated.”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines, and these vaccines required boosters after every few months. A popular comment is that the vaxxed and unvaxxed both have one thing in…
“What do trans people drink when they’re thirsty?”/“Gender fluid.”
"Gender fluid" is not a drink, but there are jokes. "Do trans people drink gender fluid?" was posted on Facebook by Myllo onn June 25, 2020. "What do gays drink when…
“What do two communists have in common?”/“Everything.”
A communism riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 14, 2018: Q: What do two communists have in common?A: Everything. Wikipedia: CommunismIn political and social sciences, communism (from…
“What do we want?”/“Hearing aids!”/“When do we want them?”/“HEARING AIDS!”
A joke on protest chants is: "What do we want?""Hearing aids!""When do we want them?""HEARING AIDS!" Several versions of the "hearing aids" joke…