“Kissing a girl who smokes is like licking an ashtray”
"Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" is an anti-smoking saying that has been printed on many images. "A non-smoker says that kissing a smoker is like sucking at the end of a…
“Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray”
"Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" is an anti-smoking saying that has been printed on many images. "A non-smoker says that kissing a smoker is like sucking at the end of a…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“9/11.”/“9/11 who?” (joke)
A knock-knock joke involving the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 is: "Knock, knock.""Who's there?""9/11.""9/11 who?""You said you'd…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Doctor.”/“Doctor who?”
Doctor Who (a British science fiction television series) is included in a popular knock-knock joke. The person at home asks, "Who's there?" The answer is, "Doctor." The…
“Know guns, no crime; no guns, know crime” (“No guns, no freedom; know guns, know freedom”)
"No god, no peace; know god, know peace" has been cited in print since at least 1976. Many gun sayings have a similar formula. "No Guns - No Freedom; Know Guns - Know Freedom"…
“Know thyself; if you need help, call the CIA”
"Know thyself" is an ancient Greek proverb that was inscribed in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. "Know thyself; if you need help, call the CIA/FBI" is a humorous one-line saying…
“Knows where the bodies are buried” (to know inside information)
A person who murders people "knows where the bodies are buried." A person in government, business, or organized crime can know organizational secrets (not always criminal secrets, but…
“Land of the fees, home of the caged”
"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?" is the last line of the first stanza of the U.S. national anthem. "Land of the fees, home of the caged" has been…
“Land of the free, thanks to the brave”
"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave" is the last line of the first stanza of the national anthem, "The Star-Spangled Banner." To thank the military, the…
“Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea”
"Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying "laughter is the best medicine" is an old proverb.…
“Laughter is the best medicine…except for treating diarrhea”
"Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying "laughter is the best medicine" is an old proverb.…
“Law Enforcement: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”
"Police: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Saw a shirt yesterday that said: 'Police Officer: My job is to protect…
“Laws that create criminals without any victim are not laws. They are revenue generators”
"Laws that create criminals without any victims are not laws, but revenue generators" (or "Laws that create criminals without any victim are not laws. They are revenue…
“Laws that create criminals without any victims are not laws, but revenue generators”
"Laws that create criminals without any victims are not laws, but revenue generators" (or "Laws that create criminals without any victim are not laws. They are revenue…
“Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made”
"Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made." This quotation had long been thought to have been from German ruler Otto Von Bismarck…
“Lawsuits are just rap battles for white people”
A lawsuit has been compared to a rap battle. "Black people make fun of each other and it's called a rap battle, white people make fun of each other and it's called a lawsuit"…
“Lawyer (n): larval stage of politician”
"Lawyer (noun) larval stage of politician" is a humorous definition that has been printed on many gift items, such as buttons and T-shirts. The definition has been cited in print since at…
“Lawyers hope you get into trouble. Doctors hope you get sick. Teachers hope you’re born stupid…”
A list of "Ironies of Life" (sometimes called "Strange But True!") is that professions prosper when things break down, not if everything functions well. Only a thief wishes you…
“Lawyers hope you get sued, but a thief wishes you prosperity”
A list of "Ironies of Life" (sometimes called "Strange But True!") is that professions prosper when things break down, not if everything functions well. Only a thief wishes you…
“Lawyers talk how doctors write”
"Lawyers talk how doctors write" is a jocular one-line saying, meaning something (such as legalese or a doctor's scribble) that the average person can't understand.…